


Adapt

by Queen_of_Dingos



Series: Survive [2]
Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2018-11-29 18:51:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11446923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_of_Dingos/pseuds/Queen_of_Dingos
Summary: Against all odds, Barry and Roddy have managed to survive the Löwen Games but now, another journey lay ahead. Wrestling with both the past and present they must continue to work together if they hope to find their way home.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Just note that this work is part of a series and Adapt will make a lot more sense if you read that first. Guess it could be read as its own standalone fic if you don't feel like going back.
> 
> Please excuse any errors. I will come back and edit some time this week I was just extremely anxious to get this first chapter out to you all on time.

_A beat of silence stretched between them before Roddy broke down in hysterical laughter. Not a moment later Barry’s voice joined his. It got so bad in fact, the Jägerbar was forced to stop on the shoulder of the road while he held his stomach in laughter. Roddy knew there had to be tears streaming down his face with how harshly his breath was escaping him but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Out here, on the side of a dusty old highway with nothing but the moon and stars to judge him and Barry’s eyes squinting at him from behind mirthful tears, there was nothing left to hide. He hiccoughed repeatedly even as Barry gathered himself enough to reach over and tentatively wipe at the tears escaping Roddy’s eyes. A gentle smile curved over his face, a long-absent light illuminated his eyes. In that moment he’d never looked more…well…Barry._

_Roddy returned his affectionate smile, the stretch cracking his chapped lips and tugging at the scratches just now beginning to sting his cheeks. Wherever they were, whenever they were, the two of them had made it together._

* * *

Once Barry managed to gather himself and the shaking in his hands had abated to a tremor less hazardous for driving, he shifted gears and started the engine sending on their way once more. Glancing over at his passenger with a look of mixed wonder and concern, Barry cleared his throat to capture the Reinigen’s attention. Roddy had always looked too small to him; Barry had thought so from the very start of their forced acquaintance. The Reinigen’s naturally sloping shoulders appeared further diminished when hidden behind his fraying, stained dark gray hoodie and his wiry legs were made to look thinner by the tight black jeans clinging to his limbs, ending in surprisingly slender feet for someone of his height. Everything about him seemed like it was melting into the brown leather beneath him even while his bright blue-grey eyes stared with wide-eyed awe at the full moon hanging in the sky overhead. The silvery moonlight only accentuated the natural paleness of his features – a startling contrast to the heavy, dark brown mop of hair curling playfully atop his head and around his slightly too-large ears. Here in the open he seemed so much more than the wild-eyed Reinigen Barry had first suspected of plotting his demise.

“What is it?” Roddy asked and Barry blinked slowly as he realized he’d been zoning out on his own. There was still a slight hitch in Roddy’s voice as he had not yet fully recovered from their previous fit of laughter.

“We need to decide now what we’re going to do when we reach the main highway. Do we follow the Löwen’s instructions or do we find our own route?” Personally, he didn’t trust the somber-faced man who’d so easily allowed their escape. One act of mercy he could believe but information offered so freely and without prompting? And the envelope stuffed with cash on top of that? They may have managed to escape the Löwens’ immediate reach but Barry knew neither of them would feel safe enough to rest until they were well on their way to civilization within the relative safety of public space. Still, they would have to be careful who saw them before they’d had a real chance to clean themselves up. Two teenagers appearing in the dead of night covered in blood and old wounds was bound to cause a stir wherever they landed.

“I’m not sure I trust him,” Roddy admitted, sobering from his earlier hysterics as he carefully weighed the decisions before them. More than a few obstacles still lay between them and the safety of home. “But I don’t want to risk wandering about in the dark for longer than we have to. I’m not sure how much longer this tank of gas will last us and we’ll need to find somewhere to clean ourselves up.”

The Jägerbar rumbled his approval, glad that the Reinigen’s reasoning seemed to be following along the same line as his own. Interpreting his noise for the agreement it was, Roddy stared thoughtfully down at the envelope in his lap.

“What are you thinking?” Barry asked, prompting Roddy to continue speaking even as they drove through the night. There was no way of knowing what time it was precisely but, for it to be so dark on a summer night, it couldn’t be a decent hour.

“Our first priority is to put as many miles as we can between us and the Löwen. There’s no way of knowing which side will win the fight and we won’t want them on our tails if we can help it. We’ll need to get far enough away they can’t immediately sniff us out but we’ll stay close enough that we won’t go too far if we’re headed the wrong way. This would be a lot easier if we knew where we were headed.”

Roddy tended to ramble his ideas out loud when he was nervous. It was an observation Barry had made the first time the Reinigen had tried to bait him into taking his life. Now that he wasn’t convinced Barry would murder him the out loud thinking had become less pointed, more a tic of personality than a focused strategy. In a strange way Barry found it reassuring to know that even as he concentrated on the task at hand someone else was three steps ahead of him, already detailing the next plan of action. As he shifted his attention back to the seemingly endless asphalt of the highway he noticed when Roddy let out a sigh of exhaustion.

“Let’s just stay on the highway for now. We’ll keep going as long as possible until we find a suitable place to stop.”

“Large enough to blend in but stay out of sight so we won’t draw suspicion,” Barry said, indicating that he’d been listening.

“Exactly,” Roddy yawned before he glared suspiciously down at the money-stuffed package in his lap before reaching up to unzip his hoodie. Briefly, Barry considered offering his own jacket to the Reinigen for added warmth, glad he had remembered to put it on before their desperate sprint from the barn, but quickly dismissed the notion as overly worried. He watched from his peripheral vision as Roddy stuffed the envelope into his jacket before zipping it closed again. Clearly suppressing another yawn, Roddy shifted, bringing his feet up to rest on the bench that constituted the front seat of the truck, and leaned his back against the passenger side door. Barry chuckled as he watched Roddy second-guess his position before the Reinigen bent himself nearly in half in order to undo the laces on his shoes. Toeing off the dirty sneakers Roddy sighed in relief as he flexed his newly freed toes, balling up his socks to stuff into the shoes now in the footwell. The smell emanating from the abandoned sneakers was less than pleasant but Barry couldn’t bring himself to complain seeing the relieved expression on Roddy’s face as he stretched to press his feet against the Jägerbar’s thigh.

Barry knew the motion was partially to luxuriate in his newfound freedom to stretch his limbs just as much as it was to maintain the physical contact they’d both come to associate with safety. With a final yawn and a brief half-lidded stare in Barry’s direction, the Reinigen finally allowed his eyelids to fall shut.

Inhaling deeply, Barry tentatively removed one of his hands from the steering wheel to ghost over the bare skin of Roddy’s ankle. The Reinigen wouldn’t mind the contact if the light snoring already filling the cab was any indication of his exhaustion. Barry was no less tired of course but the adrenaline that had spiked with Nicholas’ final attempt on his life kept his heart beating like that of a frightened rabbit even now. Knowing Roddy was finally catching up on the rest he’d missed in his vigil to oversee Barry’s recovery from fever was more than enough to satisfy him for now.

Truthfully Barry was nowhere near fully recovered but it would be some time yet before they were forced to stop for the night. His mother had always fussed over him as a child, claiming he had been born a rather small and frail baby but, through her prayer and sacrifice, he had grown into the Jägerbar she’d always hoped he would be. He still didn’t know if it was better or worse that, in the end, he had never been able to live up to her expectations. Shaking his head, he finally settled his hand over the dry skin of Roddy’s ankle prompting no more than a twitch from the sleeping Reinigen. He had not been able to save his mother but he would make sure to see Roddy through to safety.

* * *

Barry drove them over undulating mountain roads and through more than a few towns, suitable enough for their purposes on the surface yet they still exuded a sense of _strange_ and _wrong_ he just couldn’t shake. He continued driving until the highway ended, the roadway branching off into three points of exit. Deciding to continue trusting the instincts that had delivered them thus far, Barry allowed the car to roll through the right-hand exit. Coasting down the suddenly busy roadway, he glanced around in hopes of spotting a gas station or convenience store where he could duck inside and grab supplies and a map of the area. He couldn’t help but feel doubly grateful he’d not only remembered his hoodie but that he’d also had sense enough to have never worn it into the arena beyond that first fight. It would be much harder to blend in if he only had a blood-crusted shirt or equally gruesome hoodie to wear in public.

Out of the corner of his eye he glimpsed a white sign sitting over a nondescript brown building, the red words “Loaf ‘N Jug” illuminated by flickering tubes of fluorescent light. Activating his left turn signal, Barry directed them into the sparsely populated parking lot in front of the gas station store. The car ground to a lurching halt and Roddy jumped in his sleep, bright blue eyes readjusting gradually to the waking world.

“Where are we?” Roddy mumbled, stretching once briefly before sitting up to start putting his shoes back on.

“Gas station. I’m going to go in and find out where we are. You stay in the car,” Barry said, zipping up his hoodie and checking his appearance in the rearview mirror. His hood would hide the very worst of his injuries but he would have to hope whoever he encountered didn’t pay too much attention to the scar now marring the bridge of his nose.

“Hold on.”

Barry waited as Roddy reached into his hoodie and rifled around in the brown envelope he’d stashed perhaps an hour earlier. Withdrawing his hand, he presented Barry with two creased twenty-dollar bills. “Get some water and snacks so we don’t seem too suspicious. Keep conversation light and try not to draw attention to yourself.”

“Speak for yourself,” Barry snorted, accepting the cash despite the Reinigen’s apparent condescension. “If you see anyone suspicious come in after me stay in the car. Don’t try and fight anyone on your own.”

Rolling his eyes and clicking his teeth Roddy made a “just go” motion despite the obvious tension creeping into his frame. Wrenching himself away from the Reinigen, Barry exited the vehicle and waited until he heard the tell tale _click_ of the door locking behind him before proceeding inside.

He flinched away from the harsh lights of the gas station, their blinding artificial light much too similar to the lighting of the barn. Clenching his fists where he’d shoved them into the front pocket of his hoodie, Barry forced himself to walk casually and calmly towards the freezer at the back of the store where the cold beverages were stored. He lingered in front of the display for a minute, pretending to consider his options before reaching in to grab a case of water bottles. Hoisting the eight-pack under one arm, he made his way over to the snack aisle next, snagging a few bags of trail mix and a pack of plain jerky before finally heading toward the counter.

The cashier, who’d spared him not but a few minutes of observation upon entry, slapped his magazine facedown on the counter before moving to help Barry transfer his haul to the countertop.

“That’ll be all?” He asked, already punching in the prices of the gathered items.

“That’s it. Hey, do you happen to know what time it is? My phone died a while ago and I haven’t had a chance to charge it.” Barry could play charming and unassuming while gathering information as easily as breathing. As the son of two lawyers and the only child of wealthy parents it had been a prominent feature of his informal education.

“It’s a quarter past one in the morning last I checked. What’re you doing out so late for?”

“My friend and I were hiking out on the trails today. It was supposed to be for the day but we ended up going off trail and only found our way down the mountain after dark.”

“You have to be careful out there at night,” the clerk admonished. “Wild animals roam around these parts. We’re surrounded by national parks up here so there’s plenty of dangerous things out there.”

“I wish someone would have warned us about that earlier. Do you know where there’s a motel or something we could crash for the night?”

The cashier paused in piling Barry’s snacks into a plastic bag, blinking at him in surprise.

“You passed more than a few places on your way here already. You didn’t see any of them?”

“I was more focused on getting food and gas,” Barry replied, ducking his head to appear embarrassed by the obvious call-out. Besides, he wasn’t really lying to the man – he truly had been more concerned about stocking up on supplies and getting their bearings than finding lodging. If they couldn’t find anywhere to stay they could always drive into a campground and bunker down in the car for the night. A motel was preferable of course – both he and Roddy would feel much safer within four solid walls, tucked behind the security of a locked door and cameras.

“Well, if you’ve got enough money on you, you can try getting a room at the Super 8 across the lot,” he thumbed over his shoulder indicating the large stretch of asphalt Barry had seen behind the store. “They’re open 24 hours and they’ve got quite a few amenities. That’s if you’ve got the money of course.”

“We should be able to swing at least one night,” Barry appeared to consider the man’s suggestion with no small amount of reluctance.

“If you can’t afford it the Motel 6 up the way’s a little cheaper. I’m not sure how many rooms they’ll have available this time of night though.”

“Right. I’ll see what my friend wants to do but that doesn’t sound too bad,” Barry smiled widely before thanking the man one last time before making his way out of the store.

Roddy jumped in his seat as Barry circled around to tap on the passenger side window. He felt bad for startling the Reinigen and apologized as he slid the water into the foot well on the passenger side. Roddy grunted in acknowledgment but remained eerily silent, his eyes darting around the shadowed lot behind them. Barry would have to get him inside soon if they had any hope of settling for the night. Hopping into the front seat and turning the key in the ignition, Barry shifted into reverse before directing them towards the large white building the cashier had indicated.

“Did you find out where we are?”

“I forgot. It’s a little past one in the morning though if you’re wondering.”

“Not the information you were supposed to get.”

“At least I found us somewhere to stay,” Barry grumbled as he pulled up to park in front of a large brown building obviously designed to look like a cabin from afar. A covered driveway marked the motel entrance, the portico itself distinguished by a green tiled roof with a gaudy red and brown wooden wagon atop it. Wherever they were it was surely a tourist trap of a town.

“How much is it?”

“The guy in the store seemed to think it was expensive. There’s another place we can try up the road if this is too pricey.”

“No. We’ll only be here for a few days anyway,” he said, patting at the wad of cash still strategically hidden away in his hoodie. “How much do you think?”

“Probably a couple hundred a night? I don’t know. I’ve never stayed in a motel before.”

Roddy opened his mouth, probably to question how Barry had never stayed in a motel before now but apparently decided it wasn’t worth the effort. Instead, he reached into his jacket, pulling out a small wad of cash. “Twenty, forty, sixty, eighty, one hundred. Twenty, forty, sixty, eight, one hundred.” He paused in counting under his breath, cocking his head to the side as he considered something. “Twenty, forty, sixty, eighty, one hundred. That should cover one night at least.”

“Pass me a few waters. We’ll need to drink something before we go to sleep.”

Roddy dutifully broke open the plastic case and handed over four bottles. Flashing him a smile of reassurance, Barry removed the keys from their place in the ignition and clambered out of the car. Roddy exited less than gracefully a moment later but managed to right himself before Barry could reach out to steady him. Carefully adjusting the envelope against his stomach, Roddy followed closely behind Barry, glancing restlessly over his shoulder as they made their way into the building.

As with the gas station Barry took the lead in charming the bored, tired looking young woman at the reception desk and miraculously succeeded in securing them a room for the night.

“Double queen. Second floor. Sixth room to the left,” she listed off mechanically, her eyes carefully avoiding the scar on Barry’s face all the while. He’d fed her the same story as the one he’d provided to the gas station clerk about getting lost hiking off-trail. He couldn’t tell if she bought his excuse for their sudden arrival at such a late hour as readily as the older man but she didn’t bother pressing the issue further even if she didn’t.

Thanking her and flashing another charming smile, Barry guided Roddy towards the confines of the elevator. The Reinigen seemed about ready to jump out of his skin and Barry could practically feel the woge crawling under the surface. Right – room first questions about potential well being later.

Following the receptionist’s instructions he managed to locate the proper room and let them inside after a few fumbled swipes with the key card. Roddy all but scurried past him, his shoulder bumping Barry’s chest as he passed. Barry watched as the Reinigen glared suspiciously out the window before drawing their curtains with a shudder of unease. Barry let his companion work out his nervous energy, pacing around the room and checking their closet, the bathroom and underneath the bed separately three times each.

While Roddy did this Barry did some checking of his own, brushing up against different objects in the room and passing his hands over the doorframe and window several times, laying his scent down thickly as both a warning to any nearby Wesen and as a method of reassuring Roddy to the room’s security. For the time they would be staying here, this room could be considered as part of Barry’s territory and anyone seeking to get to the Reinigen would have to risk crossing into the realm of an agitated Jägerbar to do it.

Seemingly satisfied with the results of his inspection, Roddy abruptly stood, unzipped his hoodie and tossed the envelope of cash on the bed before struggling out of the dark gray fabric.

“What are you doing?” Barry asked, strolling over and picking up the offending article. It wouldn’t do to dirty the first beds they’d seen since the start of their ordeal.

“I’m taking a shower,” Roddy answered, striding towards the bathroom and unbuttoning his pants along the way. Barry looked away as the Reinigen’s jeans hit the floor and the bathroom door swung on its hinges. Stooping down, the Jägerbar gathered up the jeans as well. He’d read on the amenities list laying on the bedside table that this motel boasted public laundry facilities and he was hopeful they’d be able to wash their clothing some time soon.

He briefly considered offering to help Roddy in cleaning the bloody mess from his hair but quickly thought better of it. This was the first ounce of true privacy either of them had been afforded in days and helping the Reinigen bathe himself just wasn’t a line the Jägerbar was willing to cross. Following Roddy’s example, Barry unzipped and discarded his hoodie before reaching to peel off his bloodstained Henley. The t-shirt itself probably wasn’t salvageable but he would have to be careful how he disposed of it so as not to draw unwanted suspicion. He was sure more than a little of his own blood was staring out at him from the stained fabric.

Wrapping the damning article in his own hoodie until further notice, he kneeled on the carpet and started in on untying his boots. Roddy had kicked off his shoes almost immediately upon entry to the room (even before he’d set out on his inspection) and they lay in an untidy heap by the door. Apparently the Reinigen didn’t like wearing them if he could help it. Discarding his own shoes and socks with a little more tact, Barry straightened up, his thumbs dancing over his jean’s button in contemplation.

Would it be too weird for Roddy to come back out and find Barry standing around in nothing but his underwear? Yeah. Yeah it would. Sighing, Barry removed his hand from his beltline before moving to stock the room’s mini-fridge with their extra water bottles. He left out the last bottle for Roddy while he wasted no time in draining the other with several desperate mouthfuls. He hadn’t survived this long by letting himself get dehydrated. Once that was done he rifled through the plastic bag of snacks, fishing out the pack of jerky he’d picked up for himself. He’d leave the trail mix for Roddy – the Reinigen probably wouldn’t be able to look at meat the same way after being forced to accept raw rat from the mouth of a virtual stranger.

Fixing his eyes on the bathroom door, Barry tore into the dried meat with gusto, placating his stomach with promises of breakfast in the morning. After he plowed through the snacks he’d bought for himself he looked up as Roddy stumbled blearily out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam. A towel hung low around the Reinigen’s waist allowing Barry to survey the full extent of the damage their captivity had exacted on the other teenager.

Barry’s first impression was that the younger teen looked alarmingly thin in the harsh light of the room, his ribs just this side of too visible around his chest, his arms thin and his collarbone pronounced as he breezed past Barry towards the unclaimed bed.

“Shower’s yours,” Roddy mumbled before all but collapsing face-first into the mattress.

Narrowing his eyes in disapproval, Barry ducked into the bathroom, snatched an extra towel from behind the door and tossed it purposely at Roddy’s head. The Reinigen grunted in offense and rolled over to lie sullenly on his back and glare petulantly at the Jägerbar.

“Dry yourself off or you’ll be sleeping on wet sheets,” Barry grunted, already turning back to the still steaming bathroom.

Roddy hummed in acknowledgment, sitting up and draping the spare towel over his head. It didn’t seem like the Reinigen’s head wound had reopened under the spray so Barry wasn’t going to keep him from sleeping by fussing over the issue.

“I’m getting in now,” he announced, hand on the doorknob. “Drink something and get some sleep.”

* * *

Barry hadn’t meant to spend as long as he did in the shower but once the warm water touched his skin he couldn’t bring himself to step back out into the air conditioning. The liquid heat felt heavenly on his dry, abused skin, seeping into every new scar and overtaxed muscle and soothing the aches it found. He relished in scrubbing the scent of blood, battle and grime from his skin with the aide of the generic motel soap and a clean cloth. Barry wasn’t ashamed to admit he’d moaned aloud when the warm water washed through his hair and he scrubbed enthusiastically at his scalp with the remainder of the provided shampoo. Sighing heavily, it wasn’t until he felt wholly new and the water ran tepid that he finally brought himself to exit the shower.

He felt both refreshed and chaffed raw as he wrapped one of the last clean towels around his waist and used the other remaining cloth to systematically dry his upper half. Roddy may have been fine sleeping on wet fabric but Barry would be damned if his first night spent in a real bed would be marred by the uncomfortable sensation of damp cloth clinging to his freshly cleaned skin. His hair was unusually long for his taste and dribbled irritating trails of water down his back as he attempted to ring the liquid from his thick curls.

Only once he was certain he was dry enough for the bed did he turn off the bathroom light and step out into the darkness of the room. It seemed Roddy had finally succumbed to his nerves and turned off the overhead lights, opening the curtains a crack to allow the moonlight to illuminate the room instead. In the time it had taken Barry to shower, the other boy had managed to wriggle his way beneath the sheets of his chosen bed, his damp towels discarded carelessly on the floor. Barry didn’t both picking them up this time, rapidly becoming too tired to care much longer. Folding his own towels and laying them on the foot of the empty bed, Barry slipped beneath the sheets, relishing in the feeling of cool cotton against his still heated skin.

He spared one last glance for Roddy, burrowed in his bed so only the top of his face was visible in the soft, silver light, before surrendering to blissful unconsciousness.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually managed to get this edited and out on time. Chapter 3 coming next week. Please excuse any errors this work is entirely unbeta'd.

_He spared one last glance for Roddy, burrowed in his bed so only the top of his face was visible in the soft, silver light, before surrendering to blissful unconsciousness._

Something wasn’t right. An acrid smell overwhelmed Barry’s senses drowning out the stale scent of generic fabric softener and the metallic odor blowing from the air conditioner. It couldn’t have been more than a few hours since his head had first hit the pillow as the moon still shone prominently; the sky was not yet stained by the first creeping light of impending dawn. An irritated growl rumbled in his chest as he opened his mouth, allowing the smell to permeate the scent gland on the roof of his mouth. The odor continued to increase in potency as time passed and a foul almost acidic taste flooded his mouth. Sitting up straight Barry narrowed his eyes at the bed beside his. This was a smell he’d come to know all too well in recent nights – it was the stench of fear.

In the other bed Roddy twitched and groaned, his feet kicking at the sheets covering his body. A high-pitched sound caught somewhere between a squeal and a scream escaped the Reinigen’s open mouth and the sound sent chills down Barry’s spine. Whatever dreams Roddy had slipped into, they weren’t pleasant.

Unsure how to wake the Reinigen without making the situation worse, Barry hovered uncertainly by his bed, hoping his scent would help to calm Roddy as it had done when they’d curled together on the floor of their cage. Instead of helping Roddy to settle however, it seemed the Jägerbar’s increased proximity was all it took to startle him awake. Vibrant blue eyes snapped open and the squealing distress call faded into frantic panting. Barry remained stock still, not wanting to aggravate the obviously scared Reinigen any further. He waited for the awareness to return to Roddy’s eyes before making a low noise in his throat to fully catch his attention.

Rolling his head to the side, Roddy ran his eyes over the waiting Jägerbar before making his own noise of inquiry. “Why are you standing there?” he groaned, shifting to lie on his back and rub at his eyes tiredly.

“You smelled like fear,” Barry answered simply. He didn’t think Roddy would respond well to the revelation that he’d been thrashing and whimpering in his sleep. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m fine,” Roddy insisted, draping his arm over his eyes to block the other’s penetrating stare. “Go back to sleep.”

Barry wanted to protest the legitimacy of that statement but thought better of it. Seeing Roddy laying there, so small against the vastness of the bed, he wanted to suggest perhaps it would be better that they share tonight – that he imbue the unfamiliar sheets and mattress with the familiar security of their combined scents. Instead he turned away in silence, clambering back into the embrace of his own bed.

This whole situation was…confusing. Back in the barn, in the confines of their cage, he would not have hesitated to drag Roddy into his arms and hold him still until his thrashing ceased and his scent relaxed into something more acceptable. Here in their own room with plenty of space to stretch out and doors and locks of their own something had shifted between them. When they were at the mercy of the Löwen he was Roddy’s sanctuary…his protector. Barry knew it would take quite some time before he could think of himself as anything else and even now, listening to the rustle of sheets as Roddy rearranged his body into a more comfortable position, he would protect Roddy with his life as long as the Reinigen would allow it. Who knew how many miles still lay between them and home but, even so, Barry would stay by Roddy’s side every step of the way. The only problem now was that he just didn’t know how close he would be permitted to stand.

* * *

The second time the acrid smell of fear woke him, Barry wasted no time in moving to Roddy’s side. He didn’t wait for Roddy to struggle into wakefulness this time. Instead, he carded his fingers through freshly cleaned curls in a gesture (hopefully) familiar enough not to alarm him. Before he even opened his eyes, Roddy turned his face into Barry’s hand, gripping at his wrist with one hand and whining in combined confusion and hopefulness.

“Roddy you need to wake up,” Barry spoke gently, a direct contrast to the last time he’d been forced to wake the Reinigen. “You’re having a bad dream. You need to listen to me.”

Roddy’s grip tightened on Barry’s wrist as the Jägerbar moved to withdraw the aforementioned limb. Barry breathed through his nose in frustration before he leaned in closer to inhale Roddy’s scent while ensuring the Reinigen got a good dose of his own.

“Your breath stinks,” Roddy informed him grumpily. Barry didn’t miss the distinct flush of embarrassment coloring Roddy’s cheeks as he realized he’d woken his roommate for a second time.

“You don’t smell too great either,” Barry retaliated though his words were immediately undermined as he inhaled the Reinigen’s scent once more. He was relieved to find Roddy’s scent deescalating from the peaks of fear-induced adrenaline that had threatened to smother them both in their sleep. Not allowing Roddy a chance to protest this time, Barry was already wriggling his way under the covers when the Reinigen realized what the Jägerbar was doing. Roddy’s mouth pursed and he watched with wide eyes as Barry pushed the heaviest comforter off the bed and pulled the sheets and lighter blankets up around his waist, leaving one beneath him as a barrier against the other teen’s naked skin. Grunting through his nose Barry pushed on Roddy’s shoulder to roll the Reinigen back onto his side, spine facing the window and face staring up at the Jägerbar blankly. Ignoring the strange sensation of bare skin pressed against bare skin in the darkness, Barry arranged them so Roddy lay comfortably tucked into the curved of the Jägerbar’s arm, head pillowed on the larger teen’s bared chest.

He could feel Roddy’s heavy gaze on him, the sensation like a physical weight as he scanned over his new bedmate. Barry jumped as one hand crept slowly upward to trace curiously over the tattoo on his chest. Fighting the urge to growl in warning, Barry lay dangerously still until, with a tired sigh, Roddy removed his hand.

If Roddy had asked about the mark Barry wasn’t sure what he would have said but he was immensely grateful for the continued silence. He knew Roddy could probably hear his heart, hammering uncertainly against his rib cage but if it bothered him, the Reinigen gave no indication.

After a few more minutes of silence broken only by the sounds of their uneven breathing and the occasional rustle of sheets, Barry was relieved when the weight against his chest increased signaling Roddy’s surrender to sleep. They should have known sleeping separately wouldn’t be a good idea just yet – not so soon after they’d spent hours in each others arms, counting the individual beats of their hearts and cataloguing the feeling of another body’s warmth as they awaited their imminent demise. Even now, laying in the safety of a bed and staring up at a real ceiling while the air conditioning hummed merrily in the background he knew he wouldn’t have done anything differently. If the Löwen found them tonight, stormed their cozy hideaway and threw them into the ring he still wouldn’t lay a single claw on the Reinigen in his arms.

* * *

When Barry finally woke of his own accord it was to harsh sunlight streaming in through the crack in the curtains and a Reinigen still curled in his arms. Roddy had been awake for more than a few minutes now if the restless twitching of his legs and the fingers twitching against Barry’s stomach were any indication. He wanted to question why the Reinigen hadn’t moved as soon as he woke but selfishly refrained from asking. Instead he enjoyed the pleasant warmth of the other’s body and the clean, satisfied smell radiating from them both. Trying not to alert Roddy to his new state of wakefulness, Barry shifted surreptitiously in an attempt to inhale more of that soothing scent. Barry was well aware of what he was refusing to think about, that he’d been compartmentalizing and projecting his emotions and experiences for a while now – perhaps since he’d first decided that Roddy’s life would take precedence over even his own.

He knew Roddy knew he was awake by the way the Reinigen emitted a noise of irritation at Barry’s (apparently) obvious snuffling and dug his nails briefly into the Jägerbar’s side as a warning. Ignoring the barely-there sting, Barry rumbled contentedly, hauling Roddy further onto his chest in retaliation.

“Cut it out,” Roddy grumbled, nipping at Barry with Reinigen sharp teeth in warning. The contact was shallow but Barry, acknowledging it for the signal it was, released Roddy before reaching out his arms to either side of him in a luxurious stretch. Roddy sat up so he was hunched over his knees staring down at Barry curiously from over the fold of one arm, the other reaching up to ruffle his hair absently.

“It’s too early to be thinking that hard,” Barry pointed out, closing his eyes against the still too-bright light.

“It’s eleven thirty in the afternoon,” Roddy countered, shifting away and staring at the dead television at the front of the room. “We’ve got things to do today. We’ll stay here one more night.”

“Do we have enough money for that?”

“We should be okay for two more nights at most. After that we’ll need to be on our way. Any surviving Löwen will have left the area by then.”

Barry resisted the urge to reach out and drag Roddy back to his side as he tensed at the notion of the Löwen lingering anywhere nearby. Now that the fear of the nightmares had faded and the haze of sleep had lifted Barry was once more left in the no man’s land between distance and comfort.

“We’ll use today to buy essentials. Clean clothes, toiletries, food, etc. I have a feeling we’re further away from Portland now than we were before.”

“You saying I went the wrong way?” Barry asked, flicking the back of Roddy’s neck in playful irritation.

Roddy glared at him but the stare held no real heat as his eyes lingered over the Jägerbar’s relaxed, easy expression. Under normal circumstances Barry was practically an open book; his mother had been able to read his thoughts (and his secrets) off his face with a single look. Roddy however – Roddy seemed able to maintain a poker face better than anyone he’d ever met and at times like these it frustrated him to no end. After a moment of silence Roddy reached down and flicked Barry between his eyes, a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. Barry rubbed at the offending spot with exaggerated irritation but he wasn’t quite able to keep the smile off his face.

“Let’s get up.”

Neither one of them made a move to exit the bed, simultaneously freezing as they both seemed to remember their current state of dress; i.e. nothing. Rolling his eyes at the Reinigen’s sudden modesty, Barry rolled clumsily out of bed and stood with his back to the mattress. He wrinkled his nose as he considered his underwear and, after a beat of consideration, decided to forgo them altogether as stepped back into his soiled jeans. It wasn’t the cleanest or most comfortable arrangement but it would do until they bought new clothes and washed their old ones. Pants secured, he tossed Roddy his own pair to wear. Barry considered his hoodie and the soiled t-shirt balled up inside it before grabbing the snack bag and dumping its contents onto the spare bed. He was pleased to note that Roddy had actually listened to him last night and eaten half a bag of trail mix before passing out. Stuffing the bloodied shirt into the plastic, he tied it off before stuffing it under the bed for now – they’d just have to take it back to Portland with them where it could be disposed of properly when the time came.

Barry was surprised when, instead of stepping into his pants, Roddy strode towards the bathroom once more with his jeans and formerly discarded towels in hand but not a stitch of clothing on. So much for modesty then. Snagging the extra bag of trial mix off the mattress and opening the fridge to claim one of the spare water bottles, Barry settled back against the pillows of the extra bed. Like the previous night Barry ate and drank contentedly while waiting for Roddy to finish in the shower. They had already wasted most of the day and they would need to head out soon to make up for the lost time.

Still, Barry couldn’t blame Roddy for taking advantage of the shower after not being allowed to clean himself for days on end. Barry would have considered showering again too if he’d had clean clothes waiting for him after. For now he would grit his teeth and bear it until they could figure out something better.

He must have dozed off again at some point for the next thing he knew he awoke with a start as fingers snapped in front of his face. Crossing his eyes to zero in on the source of the disturbance, Barry snapped playfully at the offending appendages. Roddy hissed, snatching back his hand before rolling his eyes at the Jägerbar. The Reinigen was wearing his jeans and shoes, his hoodie open in the front to expose his bare chest.

“Get your shoes on. We don’t want to miss the shuttle into town.”

“We’re taking a shuttle?” Barry asked, swiping at his eyes once before bending over to roll on his socks. “Don’t we have a car now?”

“A stolen car. Besides, do you really want to deal with parking?” Roddy raised his eyebrow at Roddy in a _think about it_ gesture. Barry snorted in agreement while Roddy shuffled a wad of cash in his hands. “You still have the change from last night?”

“In my jacket pocket,” Barry indicated the brown hoodie hanging off the back of the room’s single chair. “How much are you bringing?”

“Two fifty for the room. One hundred for clothes and toiletries. Another hundred for food while we’re out – you think we’ll need more than that?”

“That sounds about right. Might need more for supplies though. You ready?”

“I’ve been ready. You’ve been napping.”

Barry growled half-heartedly before tossing the last bag of trail mix at Roddy’s head.

“Eat something before we leave. I’ll grab another water from the car. You take the one in the fridge.”

Roddy sniffed at the trail mix in an offended manner before stuffing it in the pocket of his hoodie. “I’m saving it for later,” he promised, cutting of the Jägerbar’s impending admonishment. “Grab the water and the keys so we can go.”

“Bossy,” Barry complained playfully, snatching up his hoodie and checking the pockets for the room and car keys. “Don’t get left behind.”

A chitter of irritation left the Reinigen even as he trailed petulantly after the Jägerbar. With the warmth of the sun kissing their skin and clear blue of the sky overhead, they already felt they’d taken a large step on their journey home.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse any errors. Will be fixed with upload of Chapter Four.

 

_A chitter of irritation left the Reinigen even as he trailed petulantly after the Jägerbar. With the warmth of the sun kissing their skin and clear blue of the sky overhead, they already felt they’d taken a large step on their journey home._

 

For the duration of their ten-minute bus ride Barry spent every available moment needling Roddy into begrudgingly eating a few handful of trail mix. The Reinigen grumbled and rolled his eyes at the Jägerbar but complied nonetheless. Barry noticed, with no small amount of amusement, the way the Reinigen’s feet twitched against each other, the younger teen no doubt fighting the urge to kick off his shoes.

Once they’d finally disembarked from the shuttle they found themselves standing in a town square brimming with locals and tourists alike. The bus had dropped them off at the entrance to a small park at the heart of it all – a large arch made entirely of sun-bleached antlers off to the side behind them. A sign, a pair of moose antlers hanging from the highest point in the arch, read Jackson Hole, WY in searing red paint. Blinking in surprise, Barry nudged Roddy to draw his attention to the sign as well.

“I’ve been here before,” Barry realized belatedly.

Roddy eyed him for a moment, possibly doubting the authenticity of that statement, before shrugging and pulling a folded pamphlet from his pocket. He hadn’t been very talkative since exiting the motel and Barry knew this foray into town was more of a mandatory mission than a pleasant day trip for the Reinigen. Adversely Barry couldn’t help the energy that thrummed through him – walking in public beneath an open sky surrounded by possible witnesses and free from the fear of his next battle was enough to set him buzzing in a decidedly pleasant way. He shuffled imperceptibly closer to his companion glancing over the map in his hands with a pinched expression. While it was true Barry had been here before, it had been the summer between fifth and sixth grade and he’d been throwing a fit half the time at having had to leave Jason and TB behind for a month so his parents could attend a stupid conservation conference. Needless to say, his memory of past events was more than a little hazy.

“I think we should go there,” he said, unable to take Roddy’s oppressive silence a moment longer. He pointed at a bakery marked on the map by a cheerful cartoon loaf of bread. Roddy glanced at him, his shoulders rising briefly to brush the arm the slightly taller boy had looped around his shoulder.

“We need better clothes first. The way we look and smell nobody would want to serve us,” the Reinigen pointed out evenly.

Barry made a show of sniffing at his armpit then the top of Roddy’s head and shrugging his shoulders in a “not too bad” gesture. The Reinigen’s mouth quirked oddly at the gesture but a smile refused to surface on his face. Instead, Roddy waited patiently for the light at the crosswalk to change, looking back at Barry with a bored expression on his face. Huffing under his breath Barry followed his companion into a nondescript tourist shop near the square. Almost immediately, he bee-lined to the wall of t-shirts at the back and immediately began sorting through the options available to them.

“You look for something too,” Roddy prompted the looming Jägerbar even as he considered and discarded a red t-shirt. Barry had the feeling Roddy was more of a dark colors, fewer decals sort of guy. Not feeling particularly picky and overall excited at the prospect of fresh, new clothes Barry picked up the first option available to him and checked the size on the tag. Deeming it large enough to fit, Barry unfolded it and glanced at the logo to make sure it wasn’t anything too outrageous. He wasn’t as picky as Roddy (who had rejected yet another t-shirt already) but he wasn’t trying to walk around with anything too outlandish plastered to his front. It was a simple white shirt with a black deer and the words ‘Jackson Hole’ in orange font beside it.

“How many are we getting?” Barry asked, throwing the t-shirt over his shoulder as he picked up another.

“Three each. Two to alternate and one spare to sleep in,” Roddy answered, finally approving a black t-shirt with a white print of a mountain and the town’s name. Of course it was black. Grabbing another white shirt, this one with a colorful mountain range and an orange sun, and checking the size (too small) Barry considered their next move. They wouldn’t have time to bandage themselves in public without drawing notice so they would probably have to grab something to eat back to the motel some time soon.

“What do you want for dinner?” Barry asked faux casually, finding the mountain t-shirt in his size.

“Whatever’s cheap and easy,” Roddy answered plainly, picking out yet another black t-shirt. “We’ll grab something after we get bandages.”

“Do you only wear black?”

Roddy paused, blinking at Barry in confusion (no doubt bewildered by the sudden change in conversation). Internally the Jägerbar was fighting back a small fit of laughter at the Reinigen’s expression. The poker face that had so vexed Barry this morning was nowhere to be seen as surprise and a hint of confusion opened Roddy’s expression. Keeping his own face carefully neutral, Barry found he much preferred this innocent bewilderment to the suspicious, paranoid Wesen he’d known so far. When it finally seemed the Roddy was able to collect himself Barry tossed a pale green shirt into his arms.

“Try that one instead. Lighten up a little.”

Another moment of confused blinking passed between them before Roddy’s brow furrowed and his lips twisted in a quirk that was rapidly becoming familiar. “That was a terrible pun.” Barry snorted, too proud of his momentary victory to properly defend his terrible sense of humor. “I don’t _just_ wear black.”

“Let me guess – you wear gray too sometimes.”

Roddy scowled but folded the offered t-shirt over his arm nonetheless. “Are you always a jerk or am I just special?”

Now it was Barry’s turn to frown at his companion and crossed his arms over his chest defensively – thrown by the abrupt change in mood. “I’m not a jerk, you’re just too sensitive.”

Now the Reinigen really bristled, a low chittering in his throat signaling a woge just under the surface. Barry wasn’t sure why Roddy’s hackles were suddenly up but he didn’t like the prickling sensation it left under his own skin. Roddy’s irritation meant his own irritation and they couldn’t afford to woge in a place like this. Perhaps sensing the same thing, or at least arriving at a similar conclusion, Roddy breathed deeply through his nose and forced his shoulders to lower in a sign of impending compromise. “Just get your shirts and meet me up front.”

With that, Roddy shouldered past him heading for the hiking supplies on the other end of the store. Barry sighed deeply but the calming effect was diminished as Roddy’s immediate absence still rankled his nerves. Snatching up a gray t-shirt from the shelf Barry detoured towards a display of hats. Snagging a black and white trucker hat for himself he carefully watched Roddy from the corner of his eye.

The Reinigen had seemed unduly irritated at the sudden teasing and the response made Barry wonder about his companion’s past before the Löwen. Barry had led a rather privileged existence until a year ago – with his parent’s money and professions he’d gotten into the best private schools early on, been bailed out of trouble on the authority of his family name and received more than a little special treatment from teachers and staff for his athletic ability on the lacrosse field. It had never entered his mind that Roddy might have lived a life far removed from his own. From the Reinigen’s reaction it was less removed and more opposite. Despite Roddy’s prickly mood Barry made sure to stay between him and the door, keeping him in sight at all times and making sure the Reinigen could see him too. No matter how irritated they were with each other they would not leave the other unguarded for a moment.

He watched with mild amusement as Roddy selected a four-pack of thick socks for them to share before scanning over everything else with a critical eye. The Reinigen briefly lingered over a hiking backpack before dismissing the notion after a quick check of the price tag. Seeming to realize that buying much else put them at risk of using up their allotted money too fast he begrudgingly made his way back over to the waiting Jägerbar.

“Let’s pay for these and get out of here,” Roddy mumbled, not quite meeting Barry’s eyes. If he didn’t know any better Barry would think the other was embarrassed for snapping at him earlier. Not willing to poke at the irritable Reinigen and risk another spat so early in their excursion Barry resigned himself to feigned obedience for now. As they moved up to the counter to pay, Roddy stood to the side after depositing his haul and allowed Barry to handle the remainder of the transaction. It seemed that too would be a pattern until they reached the relative safety of their hotel room. Once more the Jägerbar felt adrift in the chasm between space and comfort that now spanned between he and Roddy.

* * *

“Do you think we should look for a place to buy pants while we’re out?” Barry decided to break the silence between them after they’d finally found a drug store where they grabbed bandages, medical tape, a small bottle of ibuprofen, toothbrushes, toothpaste and a pack of clean boxers. Roddy had been upset when they’d dipped into their food money but they both knew maintaining hygiene now might be able to offset or prevent long-term infection and later illness.

“We won’t have enough money for that,” Roddy reminded him with a tired sigh.

Barry shifted the plastic bags in his hands uncertainly (he’d wordlessly volunteered to carry their supplies in a gesture of good will towards the agitated Reinigen). It wasn’t a big deal to him really – when he’d run errands with his mother he’d often willingly submitted himself to being her designated bag carrier. Feeling the urge to check the time Barry glanced habitually at his wrist where the watch his mother had bought him for this sixteenth birthday usually sat. It had been a high-tech piece with a heart rate monitor, compass and a plethora of apps (including one to track his location – she’d thought he hadn’t known about it but he’d often used it to his advantage when sneaking out). Recognizing it for what it was, the Löwen had immediately seized and disposed of the tracking tech before it could reveal their intentions to transport Barry out of state.

“Do you know what time it is?”

Roddy glanced pointedly at the tall clock in the center of the small park where they’d taken refuge. “Almost three. Why?”

“We should grab something to eat soon.”

“You do realize we haven’t changed clothes yet?”

“Just a snack. All I had today was trail mix.”

Roddy pulled out the map they’d been referencing for the past few hours and scowled at it while, clicking his teeth uncertainly. While he did that, Barry eyed the small crowd that had been forming a little ways off from where they were standing. The gathering people were surrounding a man who had been setting up speakers since earlier. From the small black case under his arm and the crazy cowboy getup Barry assumed it was some sort of musical gimmick. He could hear the muffled, unclear words of the mustachioed man speaking much too closely to the mic clipped to the front of his shirt and the small but enthusiastic cheer greeted his words. While Barry’s mother had shown a distinct distaste for what she considered a desperate and uninspired shtick, his father would’ve loved the “genuine” entertainment so freely offered – as a result Barry never really figured where he stood on the whole spectacle.

He noted that Roddy seemed wholly interested in the performer’s announcement and was craning his neck for a glimpse of what was happening. Barry wondered if perhaps Roddy was more in his dad’s camp of enjoying street performances when he noticed the Reinigen glance at him surreptitiously. With a silent shrug of “go for it” Barry followed Roddy towards the modest throng, making sure to stick close to the Reinigen’s back.

Roddy’s previous discomfort seemed offset by his apparent determination to see what was going on as a string of sharp chords sounded at the center of the crowd and the sound of a fiddle filled the area. This time it was Barry’s turn to feel distinctly uncomfortable as he shuffled closer to Roddy than was strictly necessary. It was one thing to separate inside a store where he had clear sight lines on the Reinigen but something else altogether to wade through a mass of strange scents pressing in around them from all directions. He hardly noticed the pained, thoughtful expression marring Roddy’s face or the faint note of distress permeating his scent as Barry focused instead on the body language of the strangers around them. If, by some off chance, there was a Löwen or some other opportunistic predator (like a Klaustreich) lurking nearby he would be sure to grab Roddy and run before they could get any ideas about making a moving on an apparently solitary Reinigen.

He knew vaguely that the aggression in his scent must have been elevating and spreading at an alarming rate as an Eisbiber a few feet away woged and sniffed cautiously at the air before finally pushing himself and his family out of the crowd.

The Jägerbar startled at the feeling of a tug on his hoodie sleeve as Roddy sought his attention. “Let’s grab some food and get out of here,” he asked more than commanded, startling Barry out of his protective haze. With an affirmative grunt, Barry trailed dutifully behind the Reinigen, noting with some concern that Roddy’s grip had yet to relinquish his arm.

“What are you thinking?” Barry asked gently, trying his best to convey the sincerity of his concern. He knew Roddy could interpret that question in a variety of ways and he knew the Reinigen would appreciate the unintentional out.

After a tense pause, Roddy’s curiously blank expression collapsed into something closer to resignation and a strained half-smile crossed his face. “Pizza sounds better for dinner than a snack and the next shuttle leaves in half an hour.”

Barry fought back a sigh of irritation at the obvious deflection but he’d given Roddy an out for a reason so he could hardly blame him for taking it now. Forcing cheer into his voice and doing his best to appear accepting of the Reinigen’s response Barry graced him with a half-hearted attempt at a smile. “You’re right. Pizza sounds good.”


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So unfortunately, the computer I've been using since my own computer died has also died and I've been writing everything by hand for the last month. I'm not sure when I'll next be able to sit down and type up everything so I'll do as much as I can today and over the next week. Thank you for your patience and support! All chapters posted today are unedited and the entire Survive series is unbeta'd so please excuse any mistakes until I get the chance to come back and fix them.
> 
> Chapters 1-3 now edited!
> 
> End notes are actually relevant to some previous comments so read them for a little more insight into where things are going.
> 
> Update: Chapter 4 edited.

_Barry fought back a sigh of irritation at the obvious deflection but he’d given Roddy an out for a reason so he could hardly blame him for taking it now. Forcing cheer into his voice and doing his best to appear accepting of the Reinigen’s response Barry graced him with a half-hearted attempt at a smile. “You’re right. Pizza sounds good.”_

 

By the time they’d managed to procure a large vegetarian pizza and breadsticks from Pinky’s Pizzeria downtown, Barry was ready to vibrate out of his skin. As they took their seats on the motel shuttle and rearranged their bags and boxes into something more comfortable Barry noticed Roddy glancing at him, a furrow creeping into his brow. It had been a great day for the Jägerbar, that is until they’d waded through the crowd to catch a glimpse of the street performer and now he couldn’t shake the oppressive feeling of _too close_ , _too many_ and _too open_ staining their surroundings with suspicion and unease. While the temporary reprieve had been welcome and the fresh air had done wonders for his just this side of feverish disposition, his initial feelings of awe had been swept away by prolonged exposure to so many strange scents and sounds. Roddy opened and closed his mouth several times before frowning and turning to stare out the window in consternation, his eyes still occasionally flitting over to the irritated Jägerbar.

When the shuttle finally lurched to a stop outside the garish motel Barry practically leapt to his feet. However, even is his anxious, hyper-vigilant state, he was still conscious about keeping Roddy in front of him at all times. Barry could tell his agitation was rubbing off on the Reinigen even as the Jägerbar practically herded him down the hall to the safety of their room.

Roddy made a now familiar noise of irritation as he set the pizza box down on the bed he and Barry had shared just last night and shrugged out of his hoodie. Barry wasted no time dumping his own haul of plastic bags onto the spare bed before standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, one foot forward in an aborted attempt to move closer to the other teen. Ever since their escape from the Löwen, Roddy had noted Barry’s increased need for physical contact and the associated scenting with growing concern. He couldn’t understand why the Jägerbar was growing so attached to him – he’d crawled into Roddy’s bed last night for goodness sake – but if the frantic look in his eyes was any indication, this wasn’t just about them or the Löwen anymore.

He watched warily as Barry turned, rifling through the bag of new clothes before turning back to Roddy and holding out the Reinigen’s chosen shirts as a peace offering. Roddy narrowed his eyes as the Jägerbar absently kneaded them between his outstretched hands, inconspicuously rubbing his smell into the fabric before even Roddy could scent it properly. The Jägerbar was claiming him and Roddy wasn’t even sure he was even aware of it. Conscious not to set the larger Wesen off in his present condition, the Reinigen accepted the shirts with only a slight wrinkle to his nose.

“What’s got you so worked up?” he asked, sniffing casually at the newly scented cloth. It irritated him how immediately the other Wesen’s smell calmed his own steadily mounting nerves. Barry wasn’t the only one growing dependent on the other’s presence.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Barry answered with faux casualty, abruptly turning back to the bag of clothes and lifting out his own shirts to repeat the scenting process. Roddy made a clicking noise with his teeth in order to communicate his disbelief. “Really,” Barry defended, focusing much too intently on the fabric in his hands. “I’m just hungry and I haven’t taken a shower yet today.”

Cue Roddy’s frustrated noise. “Whatever.”

Barry didn’t even realize that he’d started growling low in his throat when Roddy’s irritated chittering startled him out of his daze.

“Go take your shower then,” the Reinigen snapped, averting his eyes and balling up the shirt in his hand. “Leave your pants so I can wash them.”

The Jägerbar puffed up for a moment, the stubborn set to his jaw and the turbulence in his eyes signaling an impending argument, before he simply snatched up his towels, fresh t-shirt and the pack of boxers and stormed into the bathroom.

“Pants,” Roddy reminds him shortly, already pulling the pale green t-shirt Barry had picked out for him over his head.

The bathroom door opened just enough for a pair of jeans to slap aggressively on the floor. Roddy didn’t realize how far up his shoulders had risen until they started aching as he stood glaring warily at the now closed door. Rolling out the tension in his muscles, he stooped to pick up the offending jeans, bundling them in his arms along with his and Barry’s discarded hoodies before swiping the keycard from its place on the table and scurrying out into the hall. Taking deep breaths, Roddy wandered to the front desk where he awkwardly asked the concierge where to find the laundry facilities. Eyeing him uncertainly the desk attendant, a young man with sandy blonde hair and brown eyes, waved him towards a hall off the dining room where a washer and dryer were tucked into the narrow space. Fishing out a handful of quarters, change from the day’s purchases, Roddy wasted no time unloading his armful of clothes onto the closed dryer lid before sliding the coins into the tray attached to the side of the washer. Opening the top, he dumped the dirty hoodies and jeans into the machine before standing on tip toe to inspect the contents of the cabinet above the sink for detergent. After pouring in the powder and setting the machine to a quick cycle, he let out a sigh of relief at the prospect of finally washing away the last of the Löwen scent.

Roddy stood, leaning against the dryer and crossing his arms with a frown as he considered his next move. He didn’t think he was quite ready to return to the room but there was nothing else to do now except wait. As he idled next to the groaning washer he allowed his mind to wander to his and Barry’s excursion. Roddy had been on edge all day, the only momentary reprieved from his anxiety being the appearance of a lone man in a cowboy getup, a mic fastened to his front and a fiddle under his arm. Closing his eyes, Roddy felt the fingers in his still swollen right hand twitch as the sharp notes from earlier drifted through his tired mind. It was the first time since he’d broken his hand that he’d really considered what his injury might mean for his future.

After the incident with the rats, Roddy had been reoffered his scholarship to Von Hamlin. At first he’d had no intention of returning to that hell-hole, even with the teachers kissing up to him in desperate hopes of staving off a potential lawsuit but, after considering how much his father had already sacrificed for him to attend the institute and a firm lecture from Monroe, he’d grudgingly registered for his senior year. Still, even with wrongful expulsion and fear of legal action all but guaranteeing a less than eventful year, none of that would mean a thing if he couldn’t hold let alone play violin. Monroe would be so – Monroe!

While there was no way for Roddy to know if his father was currently home or…elsewhere, he knew there was one person who would not only be more than eager to hear from him, but had the connections to all but guarantee his safe return to Portland. Springing away from the washing machine, he practically jogged to the front area where he’d previously seen two computers and a phone set off to the side. Sitting down in front of one of the computers after snatching the phone off its cradle, Roddy steadied his shaking hands just long enough to type in the by now memorized number.

He knew it was around three in the afternoon for the Blutbad, the time difference between Jackson and Portland working in his favor, and waited eagerly for the older Wesen to answer. He’d try calling the spice shop first – the Blutbad practically lived there since he’d started his relationship with the Fuchsbau named Rosalee Calvert. On the second ring, when Roddy’s leg started bouncing in anticipation, the line was filled with crackling as a familiar voice filtered through, “Exotic spice and tea shop, this is Monroe speaking.”

“So she’s already letting you answer the phone?” Roddy couldn’t stop the teasing comment before it left his mouth.

A deafening silence dominated the space between them and the Reinigen briefly considered speaking up again when Monroe finally collected himself.

“You missed our last check in over a week ago and the that’s the first thing you say? Why are you calling from a number in Idaho? Do you even know how long Nick has been looking for you?”

At one point in their relationship, Roddy may have clammed up under the Blutbad’s severe tone and barrage of questions but now it simply filled him with a strange yet welcome sense of ease. Knowing that Monroe _had_ in fact been concerned for his safety and that the Grimm had even begun searching for him over the past few days comforted him in an unfamiliar, distant sort of way.

“Well, do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“I was taken by Löwen.” Looks like they were diving right into it then. “A few days before I was supposed to meet you I was grabbed by some Löwen at the docks. They transported us out of state. I escaped the other day. I’m in Jackson Hole, Wyoming at a Super 8 motel with a car and enough money to get home.”

Monroe went silent once more, though this silence was distinctly more dumbstruck than the previous. After a moment the Blutbad cleared his throat, repeating Roddy’s story in a much calmer, slower manner in order to ensure he had in fact heard what he’d heard.

“Are you safe? Are you injured? Are there any Löwen after you now?”

“I don’t think so,” Roddy admitted, the realization allowing him to relax just that bit further. He carefully avoided addressing the Blutbad’s second question. “I’ll stay here one more night to be sure they’ve cleared the area then I’ll head back to Portland.”

“Will you be okay traveling on your own? It’s not exactly a short trip and there’re predators after you.” The unspoken “you’re a Reinigen and they’re Löwen” floated tensely through the phone line. “You know what, I’ll take a few days off to drive out and get you.”

“I’m seriously fine, relax,” Roddy attempted to reassure him. He could only imagine what would happen if the clearly agitated Blutbad attempted to take him away from Barry now. Considering how the Jägerbar had reacted to their outing – and nobody had so much glanced in his direction – he knew it was in everybody’s best interests to keep the two as far away from each other as possible for now.

“You’re a teenager, in a strange place, all alone and you’re not exactly equipped to defend yourself if one of them is actually after you.”

“Listen I’m,” Roddy paused to take a deep breath as he prepared to divulge a rather crucial piece of information, “I’m not exactly traveling alone. Someone else escaped with me.”

“Who?”

“Their name is Barry. They’re a teenager like me and they’re heading back to Portland too. We escaped together and we’ve been sticking close to make sure we’re not caught off guard.”

“What is he?” Monroe asked after a beat of consideration. Roddy knew it wasn’t a prejudicial inquiry but rather he was making sure Roddy’s mystery companion would be able to defend them both if it came down to it.

“He’s a Jägerbar.”

Roddy could tell Monroe was digesting the information, caught between the desire to approve – Jägerbar were infamously strong and had the unusual reputation of being quite even-tempered and non-aggressive for predator Wesen – and the knee-jerk reaction to shelter the young Reinigen from a strange, potentially dangerous predator. In the end the Blutbad settled on a rather odd line of questioning, “Is he a traditional Jägerbar?”

“What?”

“His family, are they traditional?”

There was a strange note of urgency in Monroe’s voice that set Roddy’s teeth on edge all over again.

“I don’t know. Why?”

“There was a family a little while back – they were traditional Jägerbar and Nick had to stop them from conducting a Roh-hatz. I’m asking because they had a son about your age that Nick ended up arresting for abduction and attempted murder.”

Roddy froze, his blood going cold as Monroe’s words sunk in. Abduction and attempted murder. If Barry was in fact the Jägerbar Nick had arrested, what did that mean for Roddy’s potential safety? Screwing his eyes shut, he shakily informed the Blutbad that he couldn’t be sure – they hadn’t exactly spoken much about their lives in Portland.

“Just be careful okay? I’ll call Nick and let him know what’s happening. What room number are you staying in?”

“206. The room name is under Rabe.”

“The Jägerbar’s name is Barry Rabe?”

“Um, yeah.”

“I’ll call you back in a few minutes.”

“Okay.”

Hanging up the phone, Roddy made his way dazedly back towards the laundry room where the machine had ground to a shaky stop. Fishing the clean, albeit soaking, clothes from the washer Roddy decided it would be better to hang them up to dry in the room rather than waiting out in the open lobby through the dryer cycle.

Ignoring the strange look he received from the desk attendant Roddy made his way on unsteady legs back to the room. If Monroe was going to call him, he wanted to be the first one to answer the phone. As he neared the door marked 206, Roddy felt vaguely guilty, almost like he was going behind the Jägerbar’s back as he anticipated what potential news the Blutbad might be delivering to him. Roddy knew he would be none too pleased if Barry found out the truth about Von Hamelin from anyone else but, at the same time, he wasn’t sure how willing the Jägerbar would be to share the details of his possibly sordid past. Despite the nauseous feeling churning in his gut, Roddy knew it was well within his rights to want to know if the Wesen he would be traveling cross-country with was a potential criminal.

As he hung the wet clothes on the closet doors using the hangers from inside, Roddy mulled over what to do about the possible situation on his hands. He turned and jumped as the shower shut off behind the bathroom door, staring down the white wood with trepidation. Shuffling away from the entryway, Roddy shucked his shoes and kicked them under his bed. Peeling off his dirty socks, he changed into a fresh pair from their recently purchased pack and curled cross-legged on what had originally been the Jägerbar’s bed. Keeping one ear out to listen to the Jägerbar dressing in the other room, he laid out their medical supplies around him in a semi-circle. The door clicked open and a wave of steam rolled out into the cool air of the room.

Glancing over, Roddy noted that the Jägerbar appeared considerably less agitated and a stubborn albeit contrite expression crossed his face as he caught Roddy watching him. Staring into Barry’s uncertain eyes Roddy made his decision. If Barry was who Monroe thought he was then Roddy wanted to give the Jägerbar one more chance to prove he was also who Roddy had come to know. Before Monroe called again, Roddy would hear the truth from Barry himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a little more detail on what's happening with Barry and Roddy right now: Barry is projecting what were (in his mind) his failures to keep his mother safe and happy onto Roddy and has latched onto him as a source of redemption of sorts for his perceived failures. Roddy on the other hand is playing an emotional game of tug of war with himself caught between accepting Barry's often smothering protection and strangely immediate affection and pushing him away as the archetype of those who taunted and hurt him for so long. Having been captured by the Löwen and associating close proximity (the cage) and scent with a source of security and safety only heightens these feelings to a level that frankly confuses and conflicts the both of them. Adapt and Live will focus on exploring the difference (and sometimes conflict) between these emotions and other feelings that arise as they actually fill in the gaps and learn who the other truly is.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse any errors until they can be fixed.
> 
> Update: Chapter 5 edited. Working to get Chapter 6 out tonight or tomorrow.

 

_Glancing over, Roddy noted that the Jägerbar appeared considerably less agitated and a stubborn albeit contrite expression crossed his face as he caught Roddy watching him. Staring into Barry’s uncertain eyes Roddy made his decision. If Barry was who Monroe thought he was then Roddy wanted to give the Jägerbar one more chance to prove he was also who Roddy had come to know. Before Monroe called again, Roddy would hear the truth from Barry himself._

Barry felt uncertain as he exited the bathroom to find Roddy sitting expectantly on the spare bed, medical supplies splayed around him in some sort of abstracted halo. After the Jägerbar had stormed into the bathroom he’d immediately regretted his actions, knowing this ordeal had affected Roddy just as much and that such unwarranted aggression would do them no good. Keeping his eyes down and clenching his jaw nervously he shuffled toward the strangely blank-faced Reinigen. After a brief yet tense stare-off Roddy opened his mouth to speak.

“I was afraid.” Barry’s words dropped like a stone between them and Roddy closed his mouth, a contemplative expression crossing his face. Barry continued standing, crossing his arms over his shirt in discomfort. It wasn’t often that he openly admitted to weaknesses like fear and Roddy’s distinct lack of response wasn’t exactly helping his confidence in the matter. “I was afraid that—”

Roddy held up one hand in indication for Barry to hold off on the rest of his sentence. Once he was certain he had the Jägerbar’s attention, he indicated the clear space in front of him for Barry to take a seat. Gritting his teeth against the temptation to further defend himself, the Jägerbar reluctantly crossed the space to the bed and slumped into a sitting position in front of his companion, his legs hanging off the side of the bed. Wordlessly Roddy opened the package of bandages and the medical tape before setting them to the side once more. Barry could feel his nerves fraying with every moment that passed in silence and he crushed the towel he’d been holding since his shower nervously between his hands. He jumped as one of Roddy’s pale hands stilled his fidgeting, easing the towel from his grip and using it to pat determinedly at Barry’s arm in a parody of one of their earliest interactions.

“You can go ahead now,” Roddy said, keeping his attention carefully focused on his task. The worst of Barry’s wounds had scarred and scabbed over with time but his shower had scraped off the more recent scabbing to reveal various cuts, some deeper than others. The Reinigen set to dutifully unspooling the bandages in preparation to wind them around newly opened scrapes and exposed wounds all while patiently waiting to hear the rest of what Barry had to say.

“I was afraid that someone would try to take you away.” Roddy glanced up form his task, silently urging Barry to elaborate on that sentiment. When no other information was forthcoming the Reinigen let out a hearty sigh, moving to tape down the bandages he’d just finished wrapping around Barry’s forearm.

“Why are you so afraid of someone taking me away?”

Barry jumped as Roddy brushed his fingers over his handiwork before motioning for the Jägerbar to turn around so he could check over his back for further injury. He knew the Jägerbar must have picked up at least one or two scratches from their last dash from through the barn.

Silence reined once more as Barry carefully considered the weight of the confession sitting heavily on his tongue. To answer that question Barry would have reveal the truth that had been looming over him ever since he’d appointed himself as Roddy’s protector. This information had the potential to not only alienate the Reinigen but, to destroy the fragile trust they’d managed to build between them all this time. The anticipation was only made worse by Roddy’s casual acceptance of Barry’s non-answer as he pushed up the back of the Jägerbar’s shirt in order to get at the scrapes there.

“You know how I told you I was going to be a senior in the fall? Even though I’m eighteen?” Roddy hummed, not daring to interrupt now that Barry was finally finding the confidence to speak. “It’s because I…did something bad a year ago and people got hurt, some more badly than others.” Barry swallowed as he prepared to reveal the most important detail thus far. “The person who was hurt the worst was someone I care deeply about. They’re still not all right and I don’t know if they ever will be. I’ve already lost someone important to me because of my own failures – I guess I’m afraid I’ll lose you the same way too. I’m afraid someone might try to take you away and I won’t be able to protect you either.”

Once the last of his wounds were bandaged, and Roddy finally set everything off to the side, Barry jumped as he felt Roddy briefly lean his forehead against the Jägerbar’s now covered back, his hands framing the touch lightly. Barry could hear each beat of his heart in stark clarity against the sounds of Roddy’s own nervous breathing.

“Are you talking about the Roh-hatz?”

It felt like all the air had been punched from his lungs and if it weren’t for Roddy’s grounding touch at his back he could swear he blacked out for a moment, so strong was the panic that lanced through him.

“Barry. C’mon Barry,” Roddy’s voice broke through the haze of fear to bring his attention back to the present. “Barry I need you to come back to me. I need you to take deep breaths.” Nodding his head Barry followed the careful increase and decrease of pressure in Roddy’s hands to center himself and focus on how (if) to answer the Reinigen’s sudden question.

“How do you know that word?” Barry decided to start with the obvious, consciously sidestepping the question to avoid the inevitable confrontation.

“I called someone while I was doing laundry,” Roddy started, his voice finally showing a hint of nervousness. “I met them a little over a year ago when I had a run in with a cop. The cop was a Grimm,” Barry’s muscles clenched all over again and even the Reinigen’s soothing scent could not ease the tension from his back. “I also did something bad but the Grimm let me off anyway. One of his conditions was that I keep in touch with his Blutbad friend to make sure I stayed out of trouble. He looks out for me and in return I stay out of trouble.”

“Is that who you called? The Blutbad?” Or the Grimm.

“Yeah. I wasn’t sure if my dad would answer so I called him instead. I told him I was traveling with a Jägerbar and he mentioned a case to me. Three young Jägerbar attempted to carry out a Roh-hatz. The Grimm stopped them before it was too late and they were arrested. Barry,” Roddy took another deep breath before biting the bullet, “I need to know – were you one of those Jägerbar?”

“Yes,” Barry could hear his voice crack even as he screwed his eyes shut and clenched his fists in anticipation of impending rejection. He was prepared to feel Roddy’s hands leave his back, for the Reinigen’s scent to drift away and hear the door shut in his wake. What he wasn’t prepared for was the feeling of two arms wrapping around his torso and the press of a forehead to return to its place between his shoulder blades.

“Thank you for telling me,” Roddy’s barely there whisper felt like a slap to face and Barry had to suck in series of short, quick breaths as a sudden wave of hysteria swept through him. Roddy hadn’t yelled, or screamed, or left – he had pulled him closer and held tight and the Jägerbar really didn’t know what to make of that. “Breathe,” Roddy started up again allowing Barry to come down on his own, synching their breathes in an attempt to calm his racing heart.

“Why are you—” Still here? Comforting me? Not disgusted? So many ways to end that question and not one of them found their way out of Barry’s mouth.

“I told you,” Roddy sighed, “I did something bad too. When I first met you, I told you that I murdered my classmates using rats. I lied. I didn’t actually hurt them but I toyed with them, I scared them and I threatened them. If the Grimm hadn’t arrived when he did and heard their confession I’m not sure if I would have had enough control to pull the rats back.”

“It’s not the same.”

“No, but it could have been.”

They sat like that for a while until Barry managed to find the willpower to stare down at the hands clasped over his middle. After a moment of staring blankly at those seemingly fragile limbs he noticed something that caused him concern. One of Roddy’s hands was shaking, the fingers curled awkwardly as though in pain as they trembled almost imperceptibly against the white fabric of his t-shirt. There was distinct discoloration around the joints of his hand as well and he reached tentatively to run his fingers over the vibrating appendage.

“What happened?” Barry asked, hoping to get them back on more familiar ground.

“Nicholas,” Roddy explained shortly, withdrawing his arms so Barry could turn back to face him. “He broke my hand when I wouldn’t tell Cleo my name.”

“He what?” Barry snarled, his eyes flashing maroon for a moment as though the Löwen were in the room with them. If he had noticed Roddy’s injury earlier the Löwen would not have gotten away with just a hammer to the head when they escaped.

“It’s okay. It’s mostly healed by now,” Roddy attempted to assure him, cradling the aforementioned limb in his lap.

“Does it hurt?” Barry asked, already reaching for the ibuprofen still lying on the bed beside them. The joints were obviously bruised and swollen and would need to be wrapped before the night was through.

“Only when I use it too much,” Roddy admitted, staring down at it with a frown.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Barry asked, putting down the pill bottle in favor of the discarded bandages. Seeing that Barry wasn’t about to drop the subject anytime soon Roddy reluctantly offered his hand before the Jägerbar could even motion for it.

“At first, I didn’t want you to know I was weak. Then I just didn’t want you to worry about it. We couldn’t afford for you to be distracted.”

Accepting the answer but unsatisfied with the reasoning Barry tried with clumsy yet surprisingly gentle hands to bandage the appendage in his grip. “Tell me if it hurts.” The “from now on” and “we don’t have to worry anymore” went unsaid but Barry was sure the sentiment came through as he worked slowly and methodically to wrap the previously neglected injury. Roddy nodded but otherwise made no move to acknowledge the true depth of what was happening between them. Staring intently at Roddy’s hand, it suddenly occurred to Barry why he might’ve been so interested in the street performer earlier. “Do you play an instrument?”

Blinking in confusion at Barry’s sudden burst of insight Roddy answered carefully, “yeah, violin.”

“Do you think you can still play?”

“I don’t know,” Roddy admitted out loud for the first time.

Nodding, Barry taped down the bandages on Roddy’s wrapping in imitation of the Reinigen’s earlier actions. After another beat of silence, Roddy coughed awkwardly and cradled his hand to his chest. “Thank you for telling me.”

No sooner had the words left his mouth then the phone rang, shattering the illusion of, well, intimacy that had been building between them. Jumping off the bed Roddy lunged for the phone, shooting an apologetic glance in Barry’s direction. In an attempt to offer him some privacy, Barry moved to take the now cold pizza and quietly exiting the room to heat it up in the main dining area downstairs. Roddy was immensely grateful for the gesture, especially when the first words out of Monroe’s mouth were, “Are you alone now?”

“Yeah. Barry went to heat up dinner.”

“I talked to Nick and he’s the Jägerbar I was telling you about. I’ve got to say I’m not entirely comfortable with the prospect of you traveling with him.”

“I know already.”

“What do you mean you know?”

“I asked him and he told me.”

“He just told you he attempted to murder two people after abducting them?”

“More or less,” Roddy averted his eyes guiltily even though Monroe wasn’t in the room with him to see it. He wasn’t excusing the Jägerbar’s actions anymore than he was condoning his own but he saw no point in arguing with the Blutbad about it over the phone. Even now that Barry himself had confirmed the truth, Roddy was surprised to find his trust in the Jägerbar hadn’t diminished in the least. He hadn’t lied when confronted about it even if he was hesitant to acknowledge it, and he had immediately turned around and began tending to Roddy’s wounds in a gesture of care and repentance. “I trust him.”

“You did hear the attempted murder and abduction part, right?”

“I know. I’m not ignoring it just, trust me on this okay? I’ll make it back to Portland in one piece but I need Barry to do it.” Roddy stared down at his hand softly recalling how gentle Barry’s touch was not a moment ago. “Please trust me.”

“…Fine. But I expect to hear from you tomorrow and before you leave. And every time you check into a new motel.”

“I think we’ll be sleeping in the car after tomorrow but I’ll make sure to let you know when we’re close at least.”

“You better,” Monroe sighed, utter exhaustion invading his voice. “I have to get back to the spice shop. Call me there if you can’t reach me on my house phone.”

“Promise,” Roddy agreed, relieved that the Blutbad had chosen to trust Roddy’s judgment (for once). “I have to go now.”

“Remember to call me in the morning.”

“I will,” Roddy’s imbuing his voice with typical teenage annoyance but smiling outwardly at the blatant concern in the Blutbad’s tone. Talking to Monroe, he felt a little less isolated and adrift lost as he was in a strange town in Wyoming.

No sooner had their conversation concluded then Barry reentered the room, an uncertain expression on his face, a box full of newly reheated pizza balanced on his arm and what appeared to be a plastic baggie of ice in the other. Hanging up the phone, Roddy snorted as he realized Barry must have walked downstairs in nothing but a t-shirt and boxers – far from appropriate attire for the more than public hallways of the Super 8. “Dinner ready?”

“Yeah,” Barry started, awkwardly hip checking the door closed behind him. “I had to heat them up two at a time ‘cause they only had one microwave.”

Waving his hand in a “don’t worry about it” gesture Roddy moved to sweep the discarded medical supplies back into their plastic bag. “What’s the ice for?”

“Your hand is still swollen,” Barry admitted, setting the pizza down on the bed and moving to store the ice in the refrigerator before taking out two of the extra waters he’d remembered to stash in there when they’d returned from the town. “After we eat you should take two ibuprofen and ice your hand for a bit.”

Roddy stared at the Jägerbar for an uncomfortable moment before accepting the opened water bottle held out to him. “Thanks,” Roddy mumbled, taking a swig from the bottle and setting it aside on the bedside table. While he enjoyed knowing someone was genuinely concerned for his well being, it was one thing to hear it over the phone from a safe distance and another to have the source of said concern sitting across from him and staring earnestly into his eyes. “Let’s eat.”

Barry made a noise of agreement before flipping open the top of the pizza box and releasing the heavenly aroma of melted cheese and baked bread to waft through the room. Roddy hadn’t quite realized how hungry he was until the smell hit his nose and a low growl rumbled from his stomach. Even now Roddy noticed that Barry waited for him to select the first piece before reaching for his own. They sat in an uncertain silence as they worked their way gradually through the pizza in front of them. Eventually Roddy ended up nibbling uncertainly on one of the leftover breadsticks while Barry set about cleaning up their discarded containers. Surprisingly Barry was one who preferred keeping things neat since he hadn’t liked to cause his mother too much trouble by making her feel obligated to clean up after him. When it came to his mother, Barry had been willing to do a lot of things.

Eventually, when the last of the breadsticks had been devoured and the trash disposed of, Roddy decided to take another shower before going to bed. Grabbing a pair of boxers from the now opened pack and the toothbrush and toothpaste they’d purchased that day, he made his way back to the bathroom to wash up for the night.

* * *

Roddy emerged feeling more refreshed than ever, running his tongue compulsively over his freshly cleaned teeth. Barry fussed with their remaining clean shirts, folding and setting them onto the television stand for tomorrow morning. Since he accomplished his task in just a few minutes Roddy could tell it was more nervous fiddling than actual work. Resolving himself, Roddy strode over to the bed and peeled back the covers before settling in and patting the space next to him invitingly. For a moment, Barry stared at Roddy in disbelief, the unarticulated “why?” sitting in his eyes.

“Let’s just skip the nightmares for tonight.”

Agreeing with the Reinigen’s sentiment, Barry set out to prepare for bed, kicking off his socks, brushing his teeth and turning out the lights before joining Roddy in the bed. Once more they left a single sheet between them as a barrier but settled in together nonetheless.

A tense moment unfolded in the near-darkness as Barry lay there, uncertain whether Roddy’s invitation meant permission to hold him or to simply lay next to him and allow his scent to offer comfort through his nightmares of the arena. Obviously sensing the Jägerbar’s inner conflict, Roddy huffed before turning into Barry’s side and pulling the Jägerbar’s arm around himself in a loose hug. “We’ll end up waking up like this anyway,” Roddy offered by way of explanation, staunchly refusing to meet Barry’s gaze.

Another moment of quiet, this one far less contentious than the previous, filled the space between them. Eventually Barry’s grip on Roddy tightened just a bit more and a few whispered words broke the silence. “My mother. It was my mother.”

Roddy peered at Barry curiously, trying to piece together where in their earlier conversation this particular piece of information fit in. _The person who was hurt the worst…_ Realizing the enormity of what Barry was telling him Roddy simply laid his head back into the curve of Barry’s arm, and squeezed the limb lightly in acknowledgment but did not quite dare to break the silence again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they finally started talking about their pasts a little. Just to be clear I in no way condone or excuse what Barry did. From Barry's perspective, he expresses regret for his actions because his mother was hurt but he does not see anything wrong with his actions prior (kidnapping and the Roh-hatz). Roddy similarly can not bring himself to condemn Barry either since he knows how close he came to doing something similar only in his case nobody got seriously injured. These things will be further discussed and examined in Live. Just thought I clear things up here though - it was not okay this is just how the characters are viewing/coping with past events.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse any errors until they can be fixed and enjoy Chapter 6! We're officially more than halfway through. Hopefully I'll get Chapter 7 up today too. Maybe Chapter 8 if I'm lucky.
> 
> Gets a wee bit steamy for a moment in the beginning but nothing really explicit.

_Roddy peered at Barry curiously, trying to piece together where in their earlier conversation this particular piece of information fit in. The person who was hurt the worst…Realizing the enormity of what Barry was telling him Roddy simply laid his head back into the curve of Barry’s arm, and squeezed the limb lightly in acknowledgment but did not quite dare to break the silence again._

 

Roddy woke with a start and thought, for a briefly horrifying moment, that he was back in the Löwen barn. The arms around him tightened in a protective grip reminiscent of when he’d awoken to find his body crushed beneath Barry’s the night the Löwen attempted to remove his feverish body from their cage. He inhaled deeply in an attempt to ground himself in his surroundings and realized his usual mantra would be all but useless here – all except one. Jägerbar. Barry. Safe. It wasn’t exactly hard with the Jägerbar practically pressed up against him, snuffling at his neck and radiating scent like beacon. In fact – as awareness slowly returned to him – there was a distinctive note in that scent that was markedly different from anything Roddy had smelled so far.

“Barry?” Roddy asked wriggling his arms where they were trapped against his chest by Barry’s own. “Barry, are you awake?”

The Jägerbar emitted a noise somewhere between a moan and a growl and suddenly Roddy could feel (thankfully) blunt human teeth scraping at the nape of his neck. Roddy all but choked when he realized that Barry’s legs, hampered as they were by the sheet between them, were attempting to wrap around him in a grip similar to that of his arms. Realizing just how embarrassing the whole situation was becoming, Roddy knew he had to wake Barry soon if they had any chance of avoiding a rather awkward morning conversation.

“Barry you need to wake up,” Roddy raised his voice but didn’t dare set off Barry or disturb their neighbors by yelling too loudly. “C’mon big guy time to get up and get off—” a tongue licked a stripe up the Reinigen’s neck, “—get off me. Don’t get off any other way.”

As Roddy continued to wriggle in an attempt to free his arms, the Jägerbar’s motions became more frenzied as he tried, well to put it bluntly, mount the Reinigen in his sleep-induced haze. When one of Barry’s legs finally found purchase to hook around Roddy’s ankle, the Reinigen immediately decided that the “soft and gentle” approach wasn’t working.

Woging so his teeth were sharp enough for Barry to feel it he nipped at the arms banded around him and almost instantly the tightening grip around and the pressure behind him abated.

“Roddy, wha—?”

“You finally awake?”

“Huh, yeah. What’s up?”

Roddy was caught between amused and irritated that Barry’s grip still hadn’t relaxed enough for him to escape the bed – even the Jägerbar’s leg remained where it was hiked up on his side.

“Have any good dreams?” Roddy asked dryly, hoping the Jägerbar would take the hint and, erm, dismount as soon as possible.

“I can’t remember,” Barry yawned before inhaling deeply from Roddy’s sleep mussed hair. So he wasn’t quite awake yet then. “Don’t know if I really dreamed at all. Why? Did you?”

“I slept great.” Why couldn’t the Jägerbar take a hint? Did he not realize what position they were in? “Would you mind letting me get up now?”

Almost immediately Barry froze and the body behind Roddy went stiff with alarm, his arms springing open like some sort of bizarre reverse bear trap. Scrambling forward, Roddy left the stunned Jägerbar lying on the bed before shuffling over to the closet where he’d hung the clothes from last night. He knew his face must be aflame if the way his cheeks were burning was any indication but he staunchly refused to look back in his current state.

“I’m going to go wash my pants and grab some breakfast. You can take first shower.”

“Sounds good,” Barry’s hoarse reply sounded muffled and Roddy glanced over to see him mashing his face into the pillow, his shoulders equally flushed with embarrassment. “I’ll, uh, just get cleaned up then.”

Roddy waited until he heard the bathroom door shut before grabbing Barry’s now dry pants and pulling them on. While Barry may have been comfortable traipsing around the motel in nothing but his boxers and a t-shirt Roddy was more than happy not to draw that kind of attention to himself this early in the morning. He was more than a little irritated to find he had to hold up Barry’s jeans where they sat loosely on his hips but they would have to do until he got his own pants washed.

Deciding to leave his hoodie behind, Roddy made his way back to the laundry machines, a handful of quarters in the pocket of his borrowed pants and his own jeans slung over his arm. His hand felt stiff and itchy under the bandages but he didn’t dare undo them until Barry was present to help him rewrap the injury. Speaking of Barry…Roddy coughed awkwardly into his wrapped hand while the other came up to rub nervously at the back of his neck. It hadn’t exactly felt bad being held by the Jägerbar this morning it had just, caught him off guard is all. Maybe…

Roddy jumped as the elevator door dinged breaking his train of thought before it could really pick up speed. Ignoring a few stray glances from the other guests he was relieved to find the laundry facilities available. Loading up the machine it occurred to him that he and Barry had no idea how to get back to Portland when the time to travel came. Remembering the small business center in the front area, he realized it would probably be in their best interests if he printed out directions for them to follow rather than allowing them to drive aimlessly until they spotted something familiar.

After setting the washing machine, Roddy sat down in front of the computer and waited impatiently for it to boot up through a series of successive loading screens. Tapping his fingers on the desk his eyes wandered up to the cordless phone he’d used to call Monroe yesterday. Remembering his promise to call the Blutbad in the morning Roddy reluctantly picked up the device and dialed in the number for the spice shop. This time Monroe picked up on the first ring and rattled off the typical greeting for the store but there was a distinctive edge to his voice that let Roddy know he’d probably been waiting by the phone since opening the shop.

“When are you heading out today?” Monroe wasted no time in getting straight to the point.

“Probably later. I’m printing out directions now.”

“Okay, that’s great. Do you have enough money to get back? Do you even have money?”

“We’ll be fine. I’ll explain more when I see you.”

“Did you do something illegal? Roddy please tell me you haven’t done anything illegal,” Monroe groaned. In the background another vaguely familiar voice chimed in and Monroe answered with a quick “no”.

“I haven’t done anything illegal.” After all Barry hadn’t actually ended up hotwiring the car and technically the Löwen gave it and the money to them so it didn’t _really_ count as theft. “I have to get breakfast before they start cleaning up,” Roddy improvised, finally pulling up the maps page onto the screen. “Where should we meet you coming back into Portland?”

“My house. Nick and Rosalee want to see you two before we send you home.”

“Great,” Roddy groaned. The last thing he wanted was to be questioned by the Grimm cop or prodded at by a strange yet well-meaning Fuchsbau. “We’ll probably get there some time tomorrow evening,” Roddy said, giving the Blutbad an estimate based off the fourteen hours glaring at him from the route on the screen.

“Straight to my house. Don’t forget,” the muffled voice from before cut in again and Monroe let out a reluctant sigh. “Nick is here and he wants to talk to you before you have to go. Hold on.”

An even longer groan greeted this announcement and Roddy selected the print option just as the aforementioned Grimm greeted him over the phone.

“Roddy Geiger. This is detective Nick Burkhardt—”

“I remember.”

“Monroe gave me most of the details about what happened. Do you have time to answer a few questions for me?”

The printer let out a pitiable shriek as it prepared to spit out the selected pages and Roddy had never related more to a machine in his life. “Go for it.”

“Are you sure the Jägerbar you’re traveling with is Barry Rabe?”

“That’s what he told me.”

“How long do you think it will take you to get back?”

“The map says fourteen hours.”

“Before I officially ask do I want to know where or how you acquired your money and transportation?”

“Listen, I’ll answer all your questions and give you all the information you want just not right now.”

“Fine. Just don’t do anything I’ll have to arrest you for and make it back in one piece, okay?” Roddy blinked in surprise, exiting the web browser as he attempted to end his conversation with the Grimm. For a moment there it had almost sounded like he actually _cared_ about Roddy’s well being.

“Sure. Whatever. I have to go so I don’t miss out on breakfast.”

“One more thing, tell Barry to call his father. He’s been coming down to the station all week and it would help him a lot if he could hear from his son.”

Roddy paused again, blinking in surprise. It hadn’t even occurred to him that unlike himself, Barry actually did have people waiting for him back at home – that there could be someone waiting by the phone or going down to the station everyday hoping for a scrap of news about him. “Whatever you say. I really have to go now. I’ll call if we stop somewhere again.”

Before either Monroe or Nick could protest Roddy hit the ‘end call’ button and let out a sigh of relief. While concern usually left him with a warm fuzzy feeling, this much this often was really beginning to wear on him. Glad that their conversation was over for the time being Roddy grabbed his printed directions and made his way to the breakfast bar where he loaded up on waffles, jams, butter and syrup. He glanced briefly at the trays of bacon, eggs and sausage but just a whiff was enough to get his gut churning and so they were quickly dismissed as viable options.

It was only after he was standing at the end of the buffet, two plates of breakfast and his printed directions balancing in his arms, that he realized he wouldn’t be able to retrieve his pants from the washing machine and transport the food in one trip. Making up his mind to return downstairs as soon as the food was delivered, Roddy made his way slowly and carefully back up to the room.

Roddy jumped as the door opened before he even had the chance to knock and Barry filled the doorway, an embarrassed yet guardedly eager expression on his face. “You were gone for a while,” Barry said, stepping aside to allow the Reinigen inside. Roddy noted curiously that, rather than going straight for the food as he would have done, Barry lingered a moment longer in the doorway, his eyes darting up and down the hallway and his nostrils flaring as though scenting the air. Setting down his haul, Roddy debated whether or not to point out the Jägerbar’s strange behavior. If he wasn’t conscious of it then, following this morning’s episode, it might embarrass him further but, if he was aware, then it was concerning how rapidly and thoroughly the other Wesen was coming to claim Roddy as “his”.

“Is this going to be a thing?” Roddy asked, shaking out the directions to make sure he hadn’t spilled anything on them.

“What?” Barry looked genuinely confused as he closed the door behind him.

“The constant scenting. It’s starting to reek of Jägerbar in here.” Not that Roddy truly minded but growing dependent on the Jägerbar’s scent when they’d been strangers not but a few weeks ago didn’t seem like the best idea for Roddy’s future recovery.

Barry grunted in affront, settling on the floor and maneuvering the second plate of waffles onto his lap. “Scent is important to Jägerbar. It’s how we claim territory and establish bonds.”

“What kind of bond are we talking about?” Roddy focused on cutting his waffles into perfect squares as he staunchly avoided Barry’s gaze. He wasn’t quite sure he’d be able to handle whatever he found there – words were one thing but his eyes…those eyes never lied.

The Jägerbar coughed awkwardly as he spread butter over his breakfast. “Jägerbar—” he paused as he dumped an ungodly amount of syrup onto his stack of waffles. “—Jägerbar are pretty solitary outside of family and close friends, y’know. It’s why you don’t meet many day-to-day. We’re generally only comfortable around a few people who we bond closely with.”

“Hmm,” Roddy hummed in understanding as he dumped an equally unsightly amount of strawberry jam onto his breakfast. “Is that why you’re so clingy all of a sudden?”

“It’s not clingy,” Barry protested before attempting to cut into his own stack. Didn’t he know it was always better to cut first? “We’re just tactile. It helps spread and share scent for bonding.”

“What kind of bond are you trying to share with me?” Roddy casually rephrased his initial inquiry.

Another awkward silence lingered between them as Barry took a rather focused bite of his food and chewed at an agonizingly slow pace. “It’s kind of confusing actually.” Roddy glanced up in mixed alarm and interest at the Jägerbar’s confession. “You’re not family – your smell isn’t even Jägerbar to begin with – but you’re not like ‘pack’ I guess. My best friends, Jason and TB, are kind of like that. I want to protect you I guess but not in like a ‘cub’ way—” Roddy grunted an alarmed “it better not be” and narrowed his eyes in a silent reminder that they were the same age – both of which Barry gracefully ignored. The Jägerbar did, however, cut off as a rather mortified expression crossed his face.

Roddy raised an eyebrow at his companion in a silent prompt to continue. Instead, Barry took a rather large bite of his breakfast and searched desperately for a way to change the subject. Not family, friend or cub then…Oh.

“Will we have a repeat of this morning?” Roddy asked once he figured out what the Jägerbar was refusing to say.

Barry outright choked before shaking his head vigorously. Knowing he’d have to be satisfied with the Jägerbar’s non-answer for the time being Roddy decided to have mercy on them both and tactfully changed the subject.

“I spoke to the Blutbad and the Grimm this morning. We’ll be driving straight to the Blutbad’s house so they can meet us.”

“Can we trust him?”

“Monroe?”

“The Grimm. How do we know he hasn’t decided we’re not worth the trouble?”

“He won’t – at least Monroe wouldn’t let him. We can trust the Blutbad and the Grimm seems to listen to him on Wesen stuff. In fact, he told to pass on a message. Apparently your dad has been hanging around the police station and he wants you to give him a call.”

Barry stiffened unnaturally at the mention of his father, his utensils lowering as he glowered at the carpet.

“Barry?”

“Yeah, fine. I’ll give him a call. Your pants still downstairs?”

“In the washing machine.”

“Cool.” Barry stood, his jaw clenched as he ground his teeth in irritation. “Can I have my pants back?”

Realizing he was in fact still wearing the Jägerbar’s jeans, Roddy set his breakfast aside before standing and shucking and passing them over to their rightful owner. The Reinigen staunchly ignored the brief gaze that swept over him as he made himself comfortable settling back onto the bedcovers.

“I’ll be back soon.”

“There’s a phone out front,” Roddy said softly, watching as Barry froze, one hand on the door handle. “Guests can use it free.”

Grunting, Barry disappeared out into the hall, leaving Roddy to finish his breakfast in thoughtful silence.


	7. Chapter Seven

_Grunting, Barry disappeared out into the hall, leaving Roddy to finish his breakfast in thoughtful silence._

With the Jägerbar gone there wasn’t much for Roddy to do besides work through his waffles in heavy contemplation. Though Barry had reacted with no small amount of embarrassment to Roddy’s line of questioning about that morning’s…events…the Reinigen wasn’t fully convinced that the other actually realized the true depth of what he may have inadvertently admitted to his companion. _Not family, friend or cub…_ Coughing awkwardly around a mouth of food (though with Roddy’s preferences, at this point it was mostly a mixture of syrup and jam with a morsel of waffle somewhere inside) the Reinigen quickly diverted his musings to the second half of their conversation.

After Roddy’s mother left, Ephram Geiger had developed more than a few bad habits but, even so, he had made sure to maintain a strong relationship with his only son. Ephram worked late and stayed out at the bars even later but, he always worked his hardest to do right by Roddy and the teen in turn did his best to make sure all his father’s sacrifice was worth it.

Barry had reacted poorly to the revelation that a Grimm would be among those greeting them upon their eventual return to Portland but, what puzzled and troubled Roddy in equal parts, was the other teen’s response to news about his father. It was obvious Barry suffered a deep emotional wound from losing his mother but it seemed whatever devotion he harbored for her did not extend to his other parent. In contrast to Roddy’s situation, Barry’s tense reaction to what appeared to be genuine concern from his father seemed an altogether foreign response.

Sitting there, cross-legged and sans pants on the bed of a Super 8 in a strange little town in Wyoming, Roddy couldn’t help but wonder whether the Grimm had seen fit to inform Roddy’s father of his disappearance. Monroe probably would have told him to but there was no telling if the cop actually would.

At first, Roddy’s father had been distinctly uncomfortable with the proposition that a Blutbad, practically an apex predator by Wesen standards, watch over his son so closely but, knowing the alternative with a Grimm involved, he had reluctantly agreed. Sometimes Roddy would meet the Blutbad for a few hours to practice music or grab a bite to eat. Other times he might join Monroe and Rosalee for dinner or spend the day running errands for the spice shop as a delivery boy. On these occasions the Fuchsbau would even lend him an old bike he’d found and fixed up in the shop’s basement. Over his last few visits, Rosalee had offered to pay him for the days he helped out so he could eventually buy the bike from her for himself. It was a good gig and quite honestly, an almost ideal situation for a young prey Wesen often left to his own devices – destructive or otherwise.

It may seem small on the outside but creating these new bonds – finding people who he could (reluctantly and occasionally) rely on and who (albeit tentatively) trusted him to uphold his end of the deal – made a world of difference to him.

Roddy internally flinched and tried not to think too hard about how his impromptu adventure would impact the relationships he’d been so carefully building.

As the Reinigen was sopping up as much jam and syrup as possible with the final pieces of his last waffle, a knock sounded at the door. The temperature in the room seemed to plummet and all at once, the rigidity that had haunted him all through yesterday’s outing returned suddenly and with a vengeance. Barry had remembered to take the key with him downstairs – hadn’t he?

Setting his socked feet on the floor as silently as possible, Roddy crept towards the door, gritting his teeth as another knock sounded through the wood.

“It’s just me. I forgot the key card in my hoodie.”

The Reinigen relaxed slightly as the Jägerbar’s familiar voice reached his ears. Ignoring the pounding of his heartbeat and shaking off any signs of nervousness, Roddy swiftly and quietly unlatched and opened the motel room door. Barry stood there sheepishly, Roddy’s freshly dried pants slung over his shoulder and a small bowl of fresh fruit held out as a peace offering. Truthfully, Roddy felt like he would pop if he tried to eat anything else but the hopeful gleam in the Jägerbar’s eyes compelled him to hold out his hands in a gesture of “hand it over”.

Smirking knowingly, Barry relinquished his precious cargo before stepping further into the room. If the Jägerbar’s hand lingered a moment too long or his eyes drifted a little lower than they would have before that morning’s events and subsequent conversation…Roddy wouldn’t be the first to bring it up.

“Did you talk to your dad?” Roddy asked, nonchalantly stepping back towards the safety of the bed and pushing aside his discarded plate.

“I did,” the other teen’s once-confident expression morphed into something conflicted as he ruminated on his conversation with the older Jägerbar.

Roddy raised one eyebrow imploringly even as he set about picking through the offered fruit with his still syrupy fork. The Reinigen wouldn’t pry with words – truth be told he was curious about the Jägerbar’s relationship with his father but he wasn’t exactly ready to dive back into the emotional minefield that was the slightly older boy. Still, Roddy knew instinctively it would be better for Barry to get _it_ out – whatever _it_ was – now rather than later when they’d be in front of a nosy Grimm, a strange Fuchsbau, an irritatingly concerned Blutbad and what would clearly be an agitated adult Jägerbar. Roddy didn’t normally invite messy emotional scenes but even this seemed better than the alternative – hence the raised eyebrow.

His expression seemed to do the trick as Barry started huffing and glancing aimlessly around the room, as he was wont to do when avoiding an uncomfortable topic of discussion. Roddy bit down on a strawberry expectantly.

“He was…concerned.”

Roddy popped a whole cherry in his mouth, chewing carefully around the pit at the center.

“I guess he thought – he though I’d run away or something,” Barry finally relented, resuming his seat on the floor and poking forlornly at the remaining bits of waffle floating around in the syrup lake that covered his plate. “When I called he said he figured I wouldn’t be contacting him if I was trying to make a break for it.” Another heavy silence lingered between them as Barry glanced up at Roddy from under the fringe of his curls, a careful, calculating look crossing his face. He was probably wondering how much he actually wanted to tell the Reinigen.

Hearing his father’s voice again it was most likely beginning to dawn on the Jägerbar that this – whatever – between them wouldn’t last beyond their return to Portland. Roddy wondered if he was beginning to regret revealing so much of himself to a stranger.

“He didn’t ask me very many questions. He’s probably heard from your Grimm by now.” Barry took a deep breath and Roddy knew this was what he’d really been considering keeping to himself. “He’s glad I’m not alone – he’s happy that I found someone to travel with. He wants to thank you when we get back.”

Roddy paused in his methodical consumption of fruit, carefully setting his discarded cherry pit onto his empty waffle plate. He wanted to ask “for what” but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle whatever answer was brewing in Barry’s stormy eyes. Realizing the Reinigen’s reluctance to push any further the larger boy continued on his own.

“I told him to call the Grimm and his Blutbad for more information.”

“That’s a good idea,” Roddy acknowledged, averting his eyes to the bowl in his lap.

For the third time in as many hours another awkward silence descended upon them and Roddy felt the prickling of nausea at the back his throat. He really shouldn’t have accepted the extra helping.

“What school do you go to?”

The question seemed so innocuous and out of place in the heavy atmosphere of their motel room but it was just the thing to break through Roddy’s encroaching haze of thought.

“Von Hamelin.”

“The fancy art school near Northwest Academy?” Barry wrinkled his nose in distaste.

“Yeah, the fancy one,” Roddy rolled his eyes to mask his discomfort. That was the usual reaction whenever he named his school – that followed by uncomfortable and often thinly veiled inquiries about his family’s financial status.

“My parents almost sent me to Northwest. I’m at Oswego instead.”

“You seem the like the private school type.”

Barry unleashed what Roddy chose to interpret as a playful growl at the jab.

“And you look like a public school kid.”

“Fair enough.”

“So,” Barry relaxed, slumping against the bed behind him and stretching out his legs in a downright luxurious stretch. It seemed Roddy wasn’t the only one having trouble keeping his eyes to himself all the time. “Do you play violin because you go to Von Hamlin or do you go to Von Hamelin because you play the violin?”

“A little of both.” The confession was out Roddy’s mouth before he could stop it and he swallowed heavily around the lump of guilt sitting in his throat. “I played in middle school. I wasn’t bad at it. My teacher thought I could be great and recommended me so I just went with it.” Roddy was careful to keep the other details locked behind his teeth – how if it hadn’t been his father who answered the phone the day they got the news of his acceptance Roddy would have had no intention of attending that self righteous institution. He also avoided admitting that he’d planned to get himself kicked out of Von Hamelin that first year but, watching his father running himself ragged to keep up with the tuition not covered by Roddy’s scholarship quickly changed his mind. Most tightly locked up of all was the admittance that he’d felt some relief when he’d received his expulsion notice. Now though – now he just had to make it through one more year and then he’d be free to make his own decisions without fear of backlash against his father financial or otherwise.

Sensing some conflict of in the absence of these admissions Barry wordlessly got up and retrieved the bag of ice he’d stored in the refrigerator the previous night.

“You need to ice it or it will never get better,” Barry grunted before retrieving a bottle of water and the bottle of ibuprofen in turn. Just as last night, Roddy readily accepted the Jägerbar’s offerings, trading him the medicine for the half-eaten bowl of fruit. “I’ll bring our dirty dishes downstairs.”

* * *

When Barry returned for the second time that morning (after admittedly lingering downstairs much longer than necessary for simply returning dishes downstairs) it was to find Roddy sprawled lazily on the bed in a swathe of sunlight, eyes half-lidded as he drifted dazedly in and out of consciousness. At some point the Reinigen had retrieved Barry’s hoodie from the back of the desk chair and was using it as a pillow despite the actual pillows sitting haphazardly at the head of the bed. Rolling his eyes at Roddy’s messiness, Barry collected the still neglected bowl of fruit from the bed and set it on the nightstand. He’d already brought their other dishes down in an attempt to keep the room clean but he’d left the fruit in hopes that the Reinigen might be tempted to eat a few more bites. Careful as not to disturb his companion, Barry reached over and removed the halfway melted ice from Roddy’s hand and replaced it in the fridge. It had left a nice damp spot on the covers but the Reinigen didn’t seem to notice, flexing his hand lightly in his sleep.

“Mmm.” The discontented grumble sounded from the bed and Barry glanced up from where he’d been folding Roddy’s freshly dried pants and noticed the Reinigen stretching his still bare legs over the mustard colored bedspread.

The Reinigen was still upsettingly thin and Barry knew it would take more than a few slices of pizza and a stack of waffles for him to regain the weight he’d lost during their captivity. Standing over Roddy from an angle, Barry leaned so his forearm pressed against the comforter and his hair hung away from his eyes.

“Hey sleepy head. Who was it who told me we need to be heading out today?”

Roddy frowned in his sleep and his lips barely parted. A high whine of annoyance, not audible to regular human ears but plenty sharp enough for Jägerbar hearing, escaped him.

“Oh no you don’t,” Barry grumbled in turn, any noise of distress – no matter how faint – from the Reinigen rankled his own nerves in a matter of seconds. Barry poked him in the cheek to rouse him. “Wake up.”

Scrunching his whole face, Roddy nipped blindly at the Jägerbar’s finger, catching the offending digit weakly between the tips of his teeth. Yelping, Barry yanked his hand away, his cheeks burning hot for absolutely no discernable reason. It wasn’t the first time Roddy had bitten him and he had the strangest feeling that it wouldn’t be the last – it seemed to be the Reinigen’s preferred method for communicating his irritation when one or both of them weren’t fully awake.

“Are you sure you’re not a piranha Wesen?” Barry complained, wiping his finger on Roddy’s shirtsleeve.

“Why’re you poking me?” Roddy mumbled still nowhere close to awake.

“Because you were asleep. Put your pants on so we can start getting out of here.”

Dismissing the Jägerbar’s concerns with a wave of his hand and a hearty sigh, Roddy curled onto his side so he was now facing Barry instead of the ceiling.

“You’re a pain in the ass you know that.”

“You’re a pain in the face,” Roddy retorted, now actively fighting to maintain his blissful daze. “Get down here.”

“What?”

Seemingly fed up with talking, Roddy reached up and yanked the other teen down by the front of his shirt. Caught off guard by the sudden offensive Barry went down like a sack of potatoes, frozen as this time the Reinigen arranged himself around the Jägerbar.

Just as Barry started to relax into the unexpected hold, mentally preparing to start shaking the Reinigen awake lest they repeat this morning’s embarrassment, when another sensation altogether caught him off guard. There was a prickling against the exposed skin around his neck like fur and, inhaling deeply, he determined that Roddy had in fact woged in his half-asleep state. Steeling himself to ease the Reinigen’s tension he was surprised to find the slightly shorter boy still pliant and relaxed despite his firm grip on his bedmate and the woge floating over his face.

Both a lifetime of being a Wesen and the distinctly non-panicked scent wafting through the air assured Barry that this was a woge of deep contentment but still, he couldn’t quite bring himself to believe it. He flinched as whiskers tickled over his throat and this time it was Roddy snuffling gently at his neck, almost trying to burrow under the larger body.

“Tha’s better. Smells better.”

If Barry didn’t know better he’d think the Reinigen sounded almost drunk but the conspicuous absence of alcohol from both the mini fridge and their recent purchases assured him that the Reinigen was one hundred percent sober if not totally present. The snuffling was soon joined by the presence of the gentle sensation of teeth nibbling over his skin and that’s when Barry lost it.

As much as the primal, instinctive Jägerbar side of him was thrilled at this apparent development, the more rational Human side of Barry was frantically reminding him of their earlier conversation and Roddy’s lack of explicit consent in _any_ physical activity going forward as a reasons to put an immediate stop to current events. Tipping his head back to create some space between them he inhaled deeply before moving the arm Roddy had positioned over his shoulders and used it to shake non too gently at the Reinigen’s shoulder. Was this how Roddy had felt waking up this morning to Barry’s…affection? He didn’t know how the Reinigen had been able to look him in the eye let alone ask such a series of probing questions after the fact.

“Roddy you’ve got to wake up.”

Finally cracking open his eyes, Roddy took one still sleep dazed glance at Barry’s concerned expression and snorted through his nose in amusement. Still partially woged in his gradually waking state, he leaned forward boldly to inhale deeply from the spot behind Barry’s ear. When he pulled back his expression had turned downright sinful.

“Smells differen’. Good different.”

When Roddy’s lips ghosted over Barry’s cheek as he pulled away and collapsed back onto the bed the Jägerbar briefly considered the possibility that he had somehow been knocked unconscious between their room and lobby that and this was some elaborate hallucination produced by his damn Wesen hindbrain.

Not daring to lay there any longer Barry bolted out of Roddy’s hold, slamming the bathroom door in his wake. He ignored the Reinigen’s startled exclamation at the sound and instead leaned heavily against the door, gritting his teeth and taking deep breaths through his nose.

“What the fuck just happened.”


	8. Chapter Eight

 

_Not daring to lay there any longer Barry bolted out of Roddy’s hold, slamming the bathroom door in his wake. He ignored the Reinigen’s startled exclamation at the sound and instead leaned heavily against the door, gritting his teeth and taking deep breaths through his nose._

_“What the fuck just happened.”_

 

A few minutes or a few hours could have passed for all Barry noticed before a reluctant knock on the door at his back broke through the cloud of confusion and – admittedly – lust that had quite totally and suddenly overwhelmed his senses. Ancestors help him it should illegal for anyone’s eyes to be that sharp or their lips to be that soft – especially when they were accidentally seducing you in a sleep induced haze.

“Barry are you alright in there?”

“Fine.”

Barry flinched at the telltale crack in his voice and he rubbed at his face in embarrassment.

On the other side of the closed door, Roddy wasn’t faring much better. He’d been startled out of what had been shaping up to be a very pleasant dream by the abrupt sound of a door slamming. Of course that was when his higher brain functions kicked into gear and he began processing what exactly had just happened. Apparently all it took was a warm, familiar scent, clean clothes, a full belly (of food provided by the Jägerbar at that) and a window full of sunshine for his Reinigen side to return Barry’s more Jägerbar sentiments about their gradually developing relationship.

He hadn’t meant to drag Barry down to the bed with him but it seemed even the smell clinging to the Jägerbar’s hoodie and permeating the room hadn’t been satisfactory enough for his Wesen side and he’d decided to go for the source itself. Just the mere mention of the possibility of less than platonic… _feelings_ …was all it took to get his Reinigen side rolling on its back and exposing its belly for the taking. They’d lingered too long here and the close quarters and frequent scenting were starting to compromise his better judgment.

“I’ll start packing what we’ve got. It’s almost noon so we’ll have to check out soon.”

“Be out in a second,” Barry grunted, the end of his sentence punctuated by the sound of a faucet running.

Fanning himself in a half-hearted attempt to dispel some of the heat from his face Roddy didn’t bother with folding as he separated he and Barry’s newly acquired clothes into different shopping bags and bundled up their scattered medical supplies. He even fished the hidden plastic bag containing Barry’s old blood stained clothes out from under the bed before glancing around the room one last time. The bed was still a mess and the bowl of fruit lingered on the nightstand but other than that nothing seemed too out of place. Tying up the excess bags Roddy stuffed them in with his clothes, not sure when the extra storage would come in handy. If nothing else they could use them for dirty clothes later in their journey.

As he moved their bags closer to the motel room door, the bathroom opened up and a still red-faced Barry stepped out into the room.

“Did you make the bed yet?”

“Room service will do it.”

Ignoring the Reinigen’s comment, Barry busied himself with the scattered blankets, not quite bringing himself to look Roddy in the eye just yet. If the renewed heat in his own cheeks was any indication than Roddy probably wasn’t that much better off. Fishing the car keys out of brown hoodie that he’d hung on the door, Roddy quickly and quietly made his exit. It seemed that, for right now at least, his mortification outweighed his paranoia of being alone. Shuffling through the lobby without so much as a glance at the unnervingly cheery face now sitting behind the welcome desk, Roddy shuffled out to their waiting truck.

Looking at it again the light, he was starting to have his doubts about whether or not it could actually deliver them safely across state lines and further still to Portland. The bumper was severely rusted and similar brown patches littered the vehicles exterior, marring the nondescript dark green paint. The tires at least looked new and nothing had fallen off or broken down on their way here. Still, the foggy, scratched glass of its headlights and the guttural noise it made when shifting gears put him on edge. Maybe he should have taken Monroe up on that ride after all. No. If Roddy thought Barry’s territorial scenting was bad now it would be outright aggressive trapped in close quarters with a larger, older, predator-type Wesen. As awkward as things were now Roddy knew that the Blutbad had the potential to make everything that much worse.

Silently Roddy hoped he wouldn’t reek so much of Jägerbar that it would arouse his temporary guardian’s suspicions about the possibility of what could have (and maybe still could) transpire between the two young Wesen. Oh God. Roddy froze partway through piling bags into the back seat as another thought occurred to him. If the Blutbad _did_ suspect something of happening between them he could technically have the Grimm arrest Barry since, legally, the Jägerbar was an adult as of his eighteenth birthday and Roddy – well Roddy wasn’t.

“What’re you standing around for?” Barry asked suddenly from behind him.

Choosing not to blurt out the first thing that came to mind – how long would you be in prison if something actually did happen here – Roddy choose to let out a very undignified squeak and all but launched himself into the truck.

“You okay?” Barry’s large hand glanced briefly over the small of Roddy’s back as the Reinigen scrambled to set his feet back down on the pavement.

“Fine,” Roddy snapped in his haste, brushing past his companion to wrench open his door. “Did you already check out at the front?”

“Taken care of, “ Barry assured him, extending his hand to accept the car keys. “You have the directions?”

Reaching into his hoodie pocket, Roddy withdrew the carefully folded piece of paper and held it up in reassurance.

“And the cash?”

“In the bottom of my bag. We shouldn’t need much but,” he reached into the opposite pocket and withdrew a small bundle of twenties. “This should be enough for gas right now.”

“Good,” Barry smirked, twirling the keys around his index finger in an attempt to dispel the awkward atmosphere with the almost arrogant confidence Roddy had glimpsed on occasion. He hoped Barry wasn’t this obnoxious under normal circumstances or this about to be a very long drive. “Let’s hit the road.”

* * *

“I don’t think we brought enough snacks,” Roddy observed flatly as he watched Barry dig absently into yet another bag of trail mix. He had kindly laid off the jerky after its smell had sent the Reinigen into a gagging fit after only a few minutes.

“What?” Barry asked, glancing briefly away from the road before cramming a handful of mixed nuts, pretzels and M&Ms into his mouth.

“Don’t eat it all,” Roddy huffed, snatching the bag from where it was precariously balanced against the Jägerbar’s thigh. “We don’t know where or when we’ll be stopping for food again.”

The Jägerbar made a noise of discontent but was too focused on driving to make a real grab for the food. “If you won’t let me eat then you should take some for yourself.”

“I’m still full from breakfast,” Roddy sighed. This was fifth time in at least four hours that Barry had suggested he eat something. Either Jägerbar metabolisms were just that fast or Barry’s Wesen side was trying to fatten him up for reasons he’d rather not dwell on. They’d been silent the first hour of the trip after they’d filled up on gas, Barry’s false confidence wavering in face of the oppressively awkward atmosphere between them. It had only dispelled somewhat when he’d broken open the jerky and been forced to stop the car before Roddy could puke up said breakfast all over the interior.

“I’m pretty sure you ate less than me.”

“Are you such a nag all the time?”

“So you don’t care that you’re recovering from near starvation and should be trying to regain nutrients.”

“No more than you. Besides sugar isn’t good for you when you’re recovering from malnutrition.” Roddy pointedly tapped at a bright red M&M pressed against the plastic.

“Eat the nuts at least.”

“Nuts are gross,” Roddy declared matter-of-factly.

“What is wrong with your pallet? First jam on waffles then you don’t like nuts,” Barry pretended to mutter, a sly smile quirking his mouth.

“Too salty.”

“Let me guess – you’re more of a sweet person.”

“So what?” Roddy had always been rather defensive of his sweet tooth. Sara had often teased him about his preference for lattes and hot chocolate, usually while sipping from her own cup of black brew. “Salt just makes you thirsty.”

“And sweets make you fat.”

“Aren’t I supposed to be gaining fat?” Despite the bravado of his words, Roddy crossed his arms defensively over his stomach. He had never been overweight but he had, up until recently, sported a rather soft midsection. At first he’d thought riding that damn bike all around town for Monroe and Rosalee might do him some good but he’d remained stubbornly plump in the belly while only his legs grew more toned. Supposedly he’d lose weight and build muscle in some areas faster than others but he’d still held out hope that his stomach would be one of those areas.

“Yeah. I feel like you’d look weird all jacked up.”

“You’re not all muscle either,” Roddy jabbed rather rudely at Barry’s side.

“Hey!” The car swerved the barest amount as Barry snorted at the contact. Apparently the Jägerbar was ticklish. “I lost a lot of weight too, y’know. Give me a few months and I’ll be right back to normal.”

“For all I know you could have had a spare tire before we met.”

Now Barry did take his eyes off the road, a look of utter disbelief and a little offense painting his face. This carried on for a moment too long before Roddy sought to change the subject.

“Watch the road will you?”

“Not until you take it back.”

“Are you serious?”

Barry pursed his lips though Roddy could distinctly see the smile threatening his comically serious expression. Adding to the list of things he was already learning about his road trip companion, Roddy concluded that Barry was both a narcissist and the kind of jerk who enjoyed getting a rise out of Roddy.

“You’re serious. You really are a jerk then.”

“Just truthful,” Barry sighed, losing some of his earlier amusement. Was he disappointed Roddy hadn’t risen to the bait or was he too starting to realize the potential negatives about the Wesen he’d escaped with. “So, you know what you’re going to say when we get there?”

Roddy snorted as he toed off his shoes once more. At least time his feet didn’t stink nearly as bad. “I probably won’t get a chance to talk.”

“Interrogation squad?”

“Yes. No. Probably a lot of crying?”

“Your mom?” Barry ventured hesitantly.

“Monroe – the Blutbad.”

“Yeah. Is he your guardian or something?”

“More or less. Depends on what kind of trouble my dad’s gotten himself into this time.”

Last time Roddy had talked to his father it’d been over the phone when Roddy found out his father’s bad habits were starting to outweigh his virtues and he’d been booked for assault & battery. According to Monroe (according to the Grimm) with his father’s record it had been one misdemeanor too many and the court was looking to take action beyond the usual fines. Judging by Monroe’s conspicuous failure to mention Ephram during their phone calls Roddy suspected his father may not even be waiting for him when he returned.

“What about you?” Roddy returned the question. Barry said his father was concerned when he’d called but would their strained relationship permit him to show up for his son’s homecoming.

“Frank will be there,” Barry snorted. “Nobody else though. He’s probably been trying to keep things quiet. I’m surprised he even had the balls to tell the Grimm I was missing.”

“Your dad care about appearances?” Roddy couldn’t help but picture a more masculine version of Sara’s mother, staring down at him with cold, judgmental eyes. Mr. Rabe may have been glad that Barry wouldn’t have to make the journey alone but Roddy wasn’t quite sure how thrilled he’d be when he actually had the chance to meet Roddy in person.

“He’s a lawyer who married a lawyer. You do the math.”

“And you?”

“Never really cared too much what others said as long as it didn’t cause trouble for my parents. Can’t say I don’t like having people’s approval though – makes it easier to do what I want.”

Roddy silently amended that statement in his head – based off what Barry had told him so far he probably meant as long as it didn’t cause any trouble for his mother.

“Lucky you,” Roddy trailed off, staring intently at the sky overhead. It was threatening to rain now. Only a four and a half hours east and the sunshine that had earlier melted him into a pile of pliant muscle had been swallowed by a creeping gray sky.

Sensing the shift in mood, Barry searched desperately for some way to keep the conversation going.

“I don’t play an instrument. Can’t sing at all either.”

“What?”

“You mean you don’t believe me? Look I could give it a shot but I’m not sure how much you’d appreciate that.”

“Please don’t.”

“Ouch, I was just joking – I’m not that bad. I do have other talents though,” Barry boasted tapping his fingers absently on the wheel.

“Do tell,” Roddy played along, appreciating the Jägerbar’s efforts to lighten the atmosphere.

“I can play lacrosse. I’m the best attack player on my team.”

“Sounds fun,” Roddy commented blandly.

“Jealousy. Nice. I can also dirt bike. I would go on the trails with Jason and TB all the time.”

Admittedly the dirt biking piqued Roddy’s interest but he wasn’t about to give Barry the satisfaction of knowing that.

“Someone really named their kid TB? Isn’t that an infectious disease?”

“His real name is Theodore but then everyone would call him—”

“Teddy,” Roddy snorted on a laugh, coughing to cover up the knee-jerk reaction. Did Wesen parents just get together and think of the most ridiculous names possible for their children?

“—exactly. And since his middle initial is B—”

“Holy shit. Your friend’s name is Teddy Bear.”

“Well, that’s not his real name but the joke is there.”

“Barry and Teddy Bear.”

At that Roddy lost it, snickering uncontrollably as he turned his face toward the window. He didn’t notice the wide, victorious smile on Barry’s face at his reaction – if he had he would have thought the sun was shining again even as it began to rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I don't play lacrosse and I don't exactly study law so please forgive me any mistakes. Finally got my computer fixed and I'm trying to make up for lost time. Next weekend Chapter Nine and possibly Chapter Ten to finish things off. Let me know which scene is/was your favorite please. Planning to commission a nice cover for this to commemorate my first finished fanfics. Thank you everyone for all your love and support and for sticking with me on this long and uncertain journey.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 2018 everybody! Trying to start the New Year right by actually updating on time for once. Last two chapters are being written even now.

 

_At that Roddy lost it, snickering uncontrollably as he turned his face toward the window. He didn’t notice the wide, victorious smile on Barry’s face at his reaction – if he had he would have thought the sun was shining again even as it began to rain._

 

It was not but a few minutes after the first raindrops fell that Barry declared they would have to find somewhere to stop and refuel. Spotting a sign for the next exit to a town called Glenns Ferry, Barry steered the truck into the right-hand lane and away from the main highway.

“I think we should stop and get something to eat,” Barry announced as the truck rattled over a cattle guard in the road. The grass was brown and the whole landscape seemed distinctly monochrome in the dull light that filtered through the clouds. “I’m still hungry and we can always grab something for you to eat on the road.”

“Fine. I’ll eat something small.” Roddy groaned, leaning against the glass and staring out at what must have, at some point in history, been one of the small mining towns that dotted the landscape of the Old West. A warm, comforting air had filled the car even as Barry let their conversation trail off, content with his victory in actually managing to make Roddy laugh for once.

The houses along the main road were all one-story and well kept, their lawns greener than the foliage just off the highway. Roddy was sure this town would appear downright charming in the right light but, for now, it was just another unfamiliar stop on what he suspected would be a rather strange – if not revealing – journey. Out of the corner of his eye he spied Barry nodding in approval, the careful press of his lips indicating he was trying hard not to be too obvious about reveling in his insignificant victory lest he accidentally irritate Roddy into changing his mind. The Jägerbar, though outwardly self-centered and irritatingly proud of himself, demonstrated careful consideration for the Reinigen beside him, seemingly unaffected by Roddy’s apparent mood swings and admittedly short temper.

Roddy made no move to exit the car as Barry hopped out and walked around to open the back door.

“You really know how to pack,” Barry muttered under his breath as he dug through Roddy’s bag to get at the envelope carefully hidden at the bottom.

“It’ll just get messy when you dig out clothes later,” Roddy pointed out.

“That’s not the—never mind you’re right.”

That was another thing. Roddy would have pegged Barry as the type to argue until he was blue in the face to get his way. Instead he seemed to harangue Roddy about the dumbest little things – eating, making the bed, and cleaning the dishes – but relinquished other potential arguments as easily as letting water run through his fingers. Was Barry underestimating him? Or did he think that arguing with Roddy just wasn’t worth it? Why did he care so much about what the Jägerbar thought of him?

In the silence the Reinigen’s thoughts lingered over the apparent shift in the atmosphere between him and his companion. They’d discussed the Jägerbar’s more…amorous instincts regarding him and – pointedly not discussed – how they sprang from Barry’s trauma-induced compulsion to keep Roddy _safe_ and _close_. How close? What kind of bond? While Roddy’s Reinigen side was happy to jump on board with the proceedings – as evidenced by his own apparent half-asleep advances on the other teen – now that he had a little more time to think things over he wasn’t sure how healthy anything between them could possibly be.

 _He never would have chosen you if given a real choice_. The thought lingered like poison in his mind quickly banishing any pleasant feelings that may have lingered in the wake of the Jägerbar’s touch.

A knock at the window caused Roddy to jump, hitting his forehead against the glass. Scowling out at Barry’s sheepish face, he reached to roll down the window.

“Yes?” he asked shortly, his contemplative mood banished by the dull ache in his forehead.

“I forgot you’d already set aside money for gas. Can I have some now?”

Fishing in his pocket, Roddy withdrew the allotted wad of money and slapped the whole thing into Barry’s open palm.

“Do you want anything from inside?” Barry asked, counting the money in his hand.

“We’re still okay with water for now. And we still have two and half bags of trail mix left.”

Barry hummed in a blatant display of faux innocence and fished out another half-eaten bag of trail mix from his hoodie pocket. That sneaky little—

“Really?”

“Told you I’m hungry.”

“Let’s just find somewhere to eat and get out of here. We need to make it farther before we stop for the night. I also need to find a phone.” If they planned to stretch this drive out, he would need to call Monroe and alert him that it would take more than the allotted fourteen hours to reach Portland. The Blutbad would undoubtedly freak if Roddy went missing again. The main building of the gas station seemed oddly far from the single set of pumps out front. Roddy felt his nerves spike as he scanned the expansive lawns and distant buildings around them.

Initially he’d only wanted to get to Portland as soon as possible but the more time he spent around Barry and the less time he spent dealing with the messy emotional fallout from his capture (which he was still carefully _not_ thinking about and doing a stellar job of compartmentalizing thank you very much)…well…He fished the folded instructions from his pocket and stared down at them thoughtfully. Fourteen hours, that’s what he’d promised but now he wasn’t sure if that would be enough time to say goodbye.

* * *

When Barry returned and excitedly informed him of a cheap dive joint down the road Roddy had given only token protest before giving in to the Jägerbar’s request. It had been a small, inconspicuous green building with only a few wooden benches outside and absolutely no other buildings around it—the closest thing had been two towering steel grain silos across an expanse of concrete. They were currently parked under the right side portico away from the main seating area, rain pinging off the tin roof overhead. Roddy picked despondently at the battered fish and fries staring up at him from the styrofoam box in his lap. Barry had considerately ordered the same thing, avoiding the more meat-heavy options after Roddy’s episode with the jerky earlier.

Barry kept glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, opening and closing his mouth in consideration before wisely taking a bite of his own meal instead. The Jägerbar’s box was almost empty at this point and sooner or later his curiosity would get the better of him.

“How much longer do you think we have to go?”

“At least nine hours. Ten more likely.”

“We should be able to make if we only stop for gas.”

“That would put us in around four in the morning,” Roddy pointed out, nibbling absently on a fry.

“Think they’ll wait up for us that long?”

“Dunno. Maybe,” Roddy shrugged, one hand creeping down to scrunch the directions in his pocket. If Barry noticed the action he didn’t mention it.

“You mentioned stopping for the night earlier. Have anything in mind?”

“Pull into a campground. Sleep in the car,” Roddy tried to act nonchalant.

Barry considered the Reinigen’s words through a mouthful of onion rings before nodding in agreement. “Will you be okay with that?”

“I’ve got you with me,” Roddy answered automatically before cramming a handful of fries into his mouth to keep from cursing immediately after.

Deciding to spare the Reinigen further embarrassment and, feeling a little hot in the face himself, Barry turned towards the window to hide the soft smile on his face.

* * *

As per usual Barry was the one in charge of actual human interaction and he was sent back in to the dive to ask for directions to the highway. After a terse reminder from Roddy the Jägerbar had reluctantly called back home to update his father on he and Roddy’s whereabouts. They were sure that if Roddy was the one to call, the Blutbad would more than staunchly object to prolonged travel with a strange Jägerbar and, honestly, Barry was happy with Roddy’s decision to extend their trip by a night. Something was off about the Reinigen’s behavior though. One second he would be opening up, sharing or asking Barry questions about his life and the next he’d shut down, a morose expression overtaking his face whenever he thought Barry was distracted. The constant whiplash between warm companionship teetering on the edge of _something_ and the uncomfortable callous silence that followed whenever Barry got too close (close to what he couldn’t say but, whatever it was the Reinigen was guarding it fiercely) was bound to give him a headache eventually.

Barry’s father had been more than a little disappointed to hear that his son wasn’t making his way home as soon as possible but acknowledged that it would be safer for them to hunker down for the night rather than continuing on with little to no rest and no idea of where any possibly pursuing Löwen could be. Following their brief if slightly contentious conversation Barry and Roddy wasted no time getting back on the road.

“What time is it anyway?” Roddy asked as Barry climbed back into the driver’s seat. The sun, not yet visible through the lingering clouds, gave no indication of the time of day.

“Almost 7. Why?”

As it was the summer the sun wouldn’t show any signs of setting for a while yet so, while they still had plenty of time left, Roddy was beginning to feel far to anxious penned in with the Jägerbar and nothing but open road and unfamiliar streets to keep them company. Besides, the food in his belly made him feel lethargic and, by the heavy set to Barry’s eyes, the older teen wasn’t faring much better.

“Just wondering when we should start looking for a place to stay.”

“I can’t hear you when you mutter,” Barry chastised good naturedly as he steered them back onto the highway. “Or when you talk with your hand over you mouth like that.”

Rolling his eyes and sitting up straight so his head no longer rested in his hand the Reinigen repeated himself.

“I can keep going for longer. Talking helps me stay awake,” Barry assured him.

“Too bad. Looks like we’ll be turning in early then.”

“I can’t tell if you don’t know how to take a joke or just don’t want to.”

“I can take a joke when it’s actually funny. You don’t make jokes,” Barry’s brow scrunched but when he opened his mouth to defend himself, Roddy beat him to it. “You nag. Like Monroe but somehow worse.”

“I don’t nag,” Barry defended himself. “Forgive me for showing a little concern.”

“Yeah. Well. Stop.”

An awkward silence descended between them as Roddy pressed himself closer to the door and glared stubbornly at the road ahead. Seeming to realize that the Reinigen wouldn’t be apologizing anytime soon Barry made a frustrated noise and reached down to fiddle with the dials on the ancient looking device that passed for a radio. An immediate burst of static greeted their ears and Roddy grit his teeth against the grating sound. He was not going to apologize dammit. It’s not like he’d done anything wrong. Sure he could have responded a little less aggressively to what he was coming to accept was genuine, albeit misguided, concern. Glancing over he could see a muscle tick in the Jägerbar’s jar as though he were physically holding back a no doubt seething rebuttal.

Roddy crossed his arms and groaned internally. As much as he really, _really_ didn’t feel like conceding he also didn’t know how many static filled channels and barely suppressed sounds of passive aggression he could stand to be on the receiving end of. So it was but after a half hour of silent deliberation that Roddy huffed and crossed his arms to draw Barry’s attention.

“I didn’t mean it…”

Barry’s teeth grinding gradually halted and he narrowed his eyes in disbelief at what he was hearing.

“I mean I did but,” Roddy floundered for words in the face of the Jägerbar’s uncharacteristic silence. “I didn’t mean to be so – y’know – about it I guess.”

Fingers tapped against the steering wheel in contemplation and Barry titled his head to the side as he chewed over the Reinigen’s words.

“That was the worst apology I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah. ‘Cause it wasn’t an apology.”

Barry snorted as he raised a pointed eyebrow at the embarrassed boy in the passenger seat.

“It wasn’t,” Roddy muttered, toeing at one of his abandoned shoes.

“You’re really confusing, you know that?”

Roddy bit the inside of his cheek to keep from snapping at his companion again. It wasn’t the first time someone had described him as such and Barry probably wouldn’t be the last.

“Like right now,” Barry turned off the radio, giving up on his search for decent reception. “You’re one of the most sarcastic people I’ve ever met and you get defensive over the weirdest things. But back at the motel—”

A sharp, inhumane noise cracked between them and it took both of them a moment to realize it had in fact come from Roddy. The Reinigen was distinctly red-faced and there was a certain desperation about him if the white-knuckled grip on his hoodie was any indication.

“Fine. I won’t talk about that but that’s exactly what I’m talking about.”

“So what?”

“Don’t you think it’s odd?”

“No.”

“We’re stuck traveling together and I hardly know anything about you.”

“So what?”

“Once again, don’t you think that’s odd?”

“We were kidnapped,” Roddy exploded, throwing his hands up and startling the Jägerbar. “This isn’t some buddy buddy road trip. We were kidnapped. We almost died. _You_ almost died. Forgive me if bonding with you wasn’t – isn’t – my first priority.”

“That’s a lie.” Barry’s flat statement sunk like a stone between them.

“What?”

“You reached out to me first. If you didn’t want any attachments you would have let me die and found a way to escape yourself.”

Roddy gripped his hair and clenched his teeth. He had never wanted to scream so badly in his life. What wasn’t the Jägerbar getting about this?

“I used you,” he seethed. “I used you to make a deal with Cleo and survive.”

“Lie,” Barry answered, still maintaining a carefully flat tone. “You didn’t make a deal with her until I was sick. You put your life on the line for me. Before then she was just deciding things for herself.”

“That’s not the point—”

“Yes it is. Whether I killed you or let you live was my decision just as much as it was to fight.”

The Reinigen’s gut clenched painfully at the notion lying just under Barry’s confession. If he hadn’t decided to protect Roddy there may have a come a time when he would have chosen his own death in the ring rather than fight another day.

“Why…?” Roddy faltered before he could voice the rest of his question.

“Why not.” Simple as that, Barry carefully turned his attention back to the road. Roddy stared blankly at the empty seat between them. It had seemed so much larger just a few moments ago. Moments before Roddy had spit out his guilt like a vile, poisonous thing onto old, unfamiliar leather and into the stale air of the car. And Barry – Barry had taken that confession and tossed it into the back seat – simple as that.

“Do you remember what I told you our last night in the barn?” Barry’s voice crept through the deafening silence in Roddy’s ears. There had been many things said that night—things Roddy has been desperately trying to bury in his memory along with the arena. _You’ve meant everything to me. You kept me alive, you kept me human—you gave me hope. I wouldn’t want to be alive if I hadn’t met you._ Those had been Roddy’s words, spilled forth as he crumbled in the face of their imminent demise. Even deeper still were the words Barry had spoken while wrapping Roddy in the embrace of too-big hands and trembling arms. _I wish none of this had happened. I wish we never had to be here but I’m grateful I got to meet you._

“Yes,” The confession dropped from his mouth like overripe fruit from a tree. “I remember.”

“Then that’s all there is to say.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is nigh...
> 
> Thank you everyone for all your support and encouragement. It really helps motivate me when I'm having a hard time. I'm so lucky to have such supportive, understanding and overall wonderful readers.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goodness I love you all so much and I have no idea what I did to garner such engaging, kind and supportive readers. Thanks for holding on for so long.

_Still even deeper still were the words spoken while wrapped in the embrace of too-big hands and trembling arms._ I wish none of this had happened. I wish we never had to be here but I’m grateful I got to meet you.

_“Yes,” The confession dropped from his mouth like overripe fruit from a tree. “I remember.”_

_“Then that’s all there is to say.”_

 

It took a little less than an hour before the smell of emotional distress radiating from Roddy prompted a reaction from his companion. The Jägerbar had instructed Roddy to put his feet on the seat and, when the Reinigen he’d inevitably stretched out across the seat, he’d cautiously rested one hand on Roddy’s ankle. As rankled as their conversation had left him, he wouldn’t deny the physical contact alleviated his nerves just the slightest bit. Barry hadn’t yelled or thrown him out of the car—he had simply refused to take Roddy’s shit and offered him this small comfort in the emotional aftermath. He still couldn’t believe the Jägerbar’s words fully but something eased behind his ribs as he pressed his forehead against the rain-chilled glass to soothe the heat in his face.

Roddy wasn’t the only one feeling the backlash of their emotional dumping. The thumb grazing carefully back and forth over a pale, boney ankle wasn’t just for soothing Roddy’s nerves. There was a headache building behind Barry’s eyes from having held his temper in check for the duration of their little spat. He wasn’t a reserved person by any means but, thanks to court mandated therapy, he had significant control over his more volatile reactions. Still, the scent of utter _wrongness_ wafting through their confined space was doing very little to relieve the tension crawling under his skin.

They had stopped briefly at a gas station in Parma, Idaho where Barry picked up a map and more water. Neither were particularly hungry at the time, still full from their meal in Glenns Ferry and more than a little uneasy from their conversation. Luckily, it hadn’t been too difficult to locate a campground along Snake River ten minutes or so from the main city center. They were driving along Hexon Road now, the dirt under their tires turned muddy from the rain.

“Are we still going the right way?” Barry asked, leaning forward over the steering wheel and squinting into the headlights beyond the windshield wipers.

“We keep going until Scott Pit Road then turn right and follow that to the river.”

Roddy didn’t trust the open stretches of farmland surrounding them but hopefully the out-of-the way nature of the campground would prevent them from running into any trouble. The paper in Roddy’s hands crinkled as he tightened his grip and took several deep breaths, focusing on the weight of Barry’s hand on his exposed skin and the steady _thwump thwump_ of windshield wipers in the rain. Despite this there was something else gnawing at Roddy’s nerves. After their hasty departure from the motel in Jackson Hole, they had yet to discuss their sleeping arrangements going forward. While they’d stiltedly talked over the underlying reasons for the Jägerbar’s…reaction, there had been little agreement about what to do going forward.

It would be cold tonight so there could be little doubt they would end up lumped together for warmth much as they’d done in barn. Temperature aside, there was no guarantee that sleeping apart, even in close quarters, wouldn’t be enough to bring Roddy’s nightmares to the fore. The truck jumped as it rolled over a dip in the road and Roddy hissed as the back of his head bounced off the window behind him.

“Sorry,” Barry muttered, flipping on the turn signal as they finally reached the end of the road. “Almost there. I don’t think there’ll be too many people out here in this kind of weather.”

“Hopefully,” Roddy hissed, rubbing the back of his head before pulling up the hood on his sweatshirt. He wasn’t sure how he’d feel if someone looked in to see he and Barry wrapped around each other (as the Jägerbar was wont to do when they slept together). “I’m just ready to get back to Portland tomorrow.”

Barry hummed in agreement as he steered the truck around a turn in the road, removing his hand to steady the wheel through the motion. After a few minutes a possible turn off in the road crept into view along the right-hand side of the road. “I think we may be coming up on it,” Roddy announced so Barry could start shifting gears.

“What time do you think it is?” Barry mused as he turned them right towards a sign that read Martin Landing.

“Late,” Roddy answered, folding up the map to chuck into the backseat. “Hopefully we’ll go to sleep early and get an early start too.”

“So we’re really trying to make it back by tomorrow night?”

“If we take much longer Monroe will come find us himself.”

Something about the thought of parting from Roddy so soon made the hair on the back of Barry’s neck stand up and as soon as they were safely pulled into a camping space a ways down the road from the main buildings and surrounded by a thick covering of trees, his hand found its way back to the skin of the Reinigen’s ankle. The air around them was too quiet, the silence broken only by the occasional patter of rain on the roof and windows which blended with the river running by their camping space and the hum of the truck’s engine. Barry had closed his eyes and was taking long, even breaths while Roddy stared at the hand on his ankle with no small measure of trepidation. While he knew the Jägerbar employed him (his scent, his presence, his safety) as a calming mechanism this was perhaps the first time since their discussion that he’d so blatantly reached out for the Reinigen.

Roddy should move—should make some indication that he wanted the contact to stop but – truthfully – he didn’t want it to stop. This time there was no panic, no threat, no life-or-death decision awaiting them. He didn’t want it to stop because it was soothing in the worst sort of way—because it was _Barry_.

The realization sat heavily on the Reinigen’s chest, squashing out the tentative peace he’d managed to acquire as he’d allowed the Jägerbar’s words to soothe his raw emotions like one of Rosalee’s balms. Slowly, Roddy uncurled himself from the bench seat and leaned down to put on his shoes.

“Where are you going?”

“To get some air.”

Not waiting to hear the Jägerbar’s response, Roddy pushed open the passenger door and lowered his feet to the mud slicked dirt. The air was humid and stuffy with the scent of summer rain and freshly disturbed dust but the continued, gentle downpour still managed to add a crisp edge to everything. Still partially protected by the tree they’d parked under, Roddy readjusted his hood and started toward the river. He was grateful when Barry took the hint and didn’t follow him even though he could feel his companion’s anxious gaze on his back every step of the way.

This was better. The scent of Jägerbar faded out here in the rain and Roddy took a minute to collect his thoughts. Barry liked him (at least in a platonic way no matter what his Wesen side insisted)—actually genuinely liked the Reinigen despite the ceaseless snapping, sarcasm and frequent emotional outbursts shared between them. He thought Roddy was good and not just, well, _Roddy_. And Roddy thought…. Barry was kind – kinder than most other people the Reinigen encountered anyway – and he chose to direct that kindness at Roddy. Not just kindness though—protection, loyalty, concern, compassion and an (ludicrously) unwavering belief that Roddy was worth all these things. It was unsettling. Aside from his father and Monroe (and Rosalee to some extent) nobody bothered to attribute positive traits to the Roddy—to stick around and bother to read through the bluster to see that he was trying to return their affections in his own way. And Barry—Barry was not only reading past it, he was calling out each new defense by name before gently and systematically reducing them to dust. He did not allow Roddy to fester in his own anger but pulled him out to face it head on. Frankly it was terrifying.

Roddy shivered and clutched at his sleeves. It seemed he had a decision to make.

* * *

“How are you feeling?”

Roddy blinked, processing the Jägerbar’s question even as he stared at where the other lay, stretched out on the now fully reclined bench. Looked like the truck wasn’t as old as it appeared—that or Nicholas had made more than a few adjustments to the interior. Glancing down at the leather beneath him, Barry blushed and sat up stiffly as he realized how this situation might appear to Roddy all things considered.

“Um, the seat reclines. I thought this might be more comfortable than trying to fit us both on the bench. Of course that’s only if you…”

Staring at the embarrassed Jägerbar mumbling to himself on a reclined seat in a stolen truck parked in an empty campground during a rainstorm – where was he going with this again? Right – he’d made his decision and now it was time to act on it.

“Roddy? You’re kind of staring…”

Laughing softly through his nose, Roddy climbed into the car and shut the door firmly behind him. Barry looked like he wanted to ask another question but refrained as he watched the Reinigen toe off his shoes, an oddly determined look on his face. Shrugging off his soaked hoodie, Roddy balled it up and set it on the dashboard before he finally turned to face his companion. Barry’s eyes, those wide sea-green eyes, were fixed on Roddy’s every move and an unnerving awareness entered his expression.

Before he could lose his nerve under that penetrating gaze, Roddy shuffled forward until he kneeled next to Barry where he reclined stretched out on the leather seat. The Jägerbar’s eyes were riveted to Roddy’s face, faint yet hopeful expectation lighting their depths.

“Barry…is this alright?”

The question drifted out in a barely audible whisper, so soft even Roddy might have doubted its existence even came from his own mouth. Barry swallowed and Roddy tracked the movement with his eyes before switching his focus back to stormy eyes.

“Are _you_ sure?”

Roddy wanted to laugh and groan at the same time. He could see the Jägerbar carefully leashed behind the anticipation in Barry’s eyes and all the Reinigen’s nerves seemed to evaporate at once. Even now, on the precipice of something he’d made no secret of wanting, he was putting Roddy first and that more than anything proved he’d made the right decision.

Leaning forward, his hands still clenched in his lap, Roddy sighed softly through his nose. “Yes.”

It was a barely-there touch, just enough to send a feeling not unlike static tingling through his lips. Barry inhaled sharply and his eyes widened as he stared at Roddy with something approaching awe. There was tightly coiled tension in his movements as one of his hands left the leather to hover by Roddy’s arm. While the Reinigen appreciated the gentle, steady approach their initial contact had ignited something within his core and he burned with the need to feel Barry’s touch on his skin again.

Roddy settled his hand on Barry’s face as a signal for things to continue. Keeping his touch delicate, one of those large hands settled over the bare skin of his arm and his eyes closed as he leaned in for a firmer kiss.

It was a chaste sort of contact with neither participant willing to withdraw quite yet nor push for more and shatter such a new, fragile moment. Infinitesimal shivers wracked them both as Roddy’s other hand clutched at the fabric of Barry’s t-shirt and he levered himself up so he was now bending his neck to maintain contact. A gasp left the Jägerbar’s parted lips and his free hand opened and closed at his side in restrained anticipation. Annoyed that Barry was still denying him the contact he craved, Roddy emitted a subsonic noise of frustration and pressed down more firmly on the Jägerbar’s lips.

The Reinigen had yet to close his eyes and he watched his partner’s expression with rapt attention. The Jägerbar’s brow furrowed in concentration and a needy sound, somewhere between a moan and a breathless whimper, escaped him when they finally parted for air.

Roddy licked his lips, reveling in the needy expression on Barry’s face, and smiled smugly at the dazed, expectant expression that greeted him when the Jägerbar finally blinked open his eyes.

“Roddy…”

A pleasant chill swept through the Reinigen followed immediately by an overpowering wave of heat. Nobody had the right to look – well, ravished – like that after such a simple kiss. Roddy’s hand tightened its grip in white fabric of Barry’s shirt. Taking the hint, the hand Barry had on his arm started drifting up and down in soft, grounding motions. Even though no words passed between them, the message was clear—they would take this at whatever pace he was comfortable with, no more and no less. That knowledge made Roddy almost as light headed as the kiss had and with a softer, more genuine smile, he closed his eyes and met Barry halfway for another kiss. Even if it was just for one more day, Roddy would allow himself this much for now.

* * *

They never went beyond chaste kissing and shy hands ghosting over exposed skin, though Barry’s hoodie was discarded at one point with an embarrassed mumble of “it’s hot”. Eventually, they’d had to put a stop to their activities as their breaths came shorter and Barry’s hips rolled stiltedly under Roddy’s weight after the Reinigen crawled into his lap for a better angle.

“Sorry. Instincts,” Barry had apologized, breathlessly even as his hands remained where they were, one hand cupping the back of Roddy’s head – fingers tugging at his curls – and the other clenched tightly in the hem of the green shirt he’d picked out for the Reinigen just a few days ago.

“Maybe we should slow down a bit?” Roddy suggested.

While part of him demanded he let the Jägerbar touch, and press and…well, y’know…the other human part of him insisted it would be too much too fast. He had just barely allowed himself this—anything else would feel like he was taking advantage no matter how the Jägerbar argued his Wesen instincts didn’t influence his emotions (his libido sure but not his heart).

“That’s,” Barry gulped, unable to decide between staring at Roddy’s lips or eyes, “That sounds like a good idea.”

Dismounting gingerly and, careful not to excite the Jägerbar any further, Roddy rolled onto his back, stared at the ceiling and tried to calm the frantic beating of his heart. Distantly he heard Barry hiss in discomfort as he lowered his body to lie down and take deep, controlled breaths. The rain seemed to have stopped sometime during their impromptu make out session and their unsteady breathing was drowned out only by the thunderous heartbeats in their ears.

“Wow,” Barry exhaled shakily.

Unable to suppress the urge, as limp and boneless as he felt in the aftermath of their breath stealing exchange, Roddy began giggling uncontrollably. Barry turned his neck so he could watch, his expression caught between confusion and admiration as he traced the lines around Roddy’s mouth with his soft eyes. The apples of the Reinigen’s cheeks were stained pink as he struggled to contain his noises, one of his hands coming up to cover his mouth. Shaking himself out of his stupor, Barry rolled over to pull away the offending appendage, not wanting to miss even a moment of the uncontrollable glee plastered across the Reinigen’s face.

“You’re gorgeous,” Barry confessed even as Roddy’s giggles subsided and an oddly peaceful look replaced his mirthful expression.

“Stop,” Roddy mumbled, his cheeks darkening another shade. When Barry simply smiled and stroked his free hand over one of those reddened cheeks, Roddy reached out and squished Barry’s face between his palms. “You’re full of shit you know that?”

“So handsome,” the Jägerbar smiled as best he could around the Reinigen’s treatment of his face.

Brow furrowed at the sudden onslaught of praise, Roddy silenced him with a quick kiss and firm pinch to his ear. That dopey smile only grew despite the Reinigen’s pinch and Barry hauled him closer so he was cradled firmly against the Jägerbar’s chest.

“I guess you’re okay,” Roddy muttered, adjusting himself so one arm was squashed between them and the other wrapped around Barry’s waist. It was the first time he’d ever returned the Jägerbar’s embrace, a silent acknowledgment of what had changed between them.

“Just okay?” Barry teased, nuzzling into Roddy’s hair and inhaling deeply—it wouldn’t help his, erm, Jägerbar problem but he couldn’t restrain himself with the Reinigen was so relaxed in his grip.

“I’m not saying it again.”

“Spoilsport.”

“See if I ever kiss you again.”

Barry snorted in disbelief, gradually filling the car with his scent and wrapping himself more firmly around the Reinigen in his grasp.

“No take backs, right?”

At first Roddy was startled by the Jägerbar’s question – it seemed the other teen was prone to voicing only the tail end of his thoughts and expected others to pick up where he left off – but easily concluded it had more to do with the touches they’d exchanged than their previous stilted exchanges designed to mask their mutual embarrassed excitement.

“No take backs,” Roddy agreed.

He couldn’t bring himself to regret what he’d – what they’d done – no matter how much harder this would make their inevitable farewell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special surprise coming for chapter eleven (and possibly twelve depending on how everything paces out).


	11. Chapter Eleven

 

_“No take backs,” Roddy agreed._

_He couldn’t bring himself to regret what he’d – what they’d done – no matter how much harder this would make their inevitable farewell._

The next morning greeted Roddy with the soft light of a sky not but an hour past sunrise and the urgent rustle of wind in the trees. With a grumble of discontent he made to roll over and bury his face into a broad chest and a t-shirt smelling non-too faintly of sweat and barely-there musk only to find the space beside him alarmingly empty. His eyes flew open and the Reinigen remained eerily still as he took note of his surroundings. He could see the driver’s side door was still as firmly closed as it had been when they’d fallen asleep making it unlikely that the Jägerbar had been abducted some time in the night. If anyone had tried to drag Barry out of his arms, Roddy surely would have noticed—that and there was no possible way the older teen would have gone without a fight. In an attempt to reassure himself, Roddy reached out with his other senses to ascertain more clues as to his companion’s sudden absence.

The car reeked strongly of contented Jägerbar and no foreign scents disturbed the air. When he focused, Roddy could hear the stirrings of nature outside the vehicle and the faint but definitely there sound of…splashing?

After he deemed it safe enough, Roddy hoisted himself into a sitting position and squinted his eyes as he scanned the surrounding area for the wayward Jägerbar. Trees, sky, picnic table, bear, river—wait a second? He swung his legs over the lip of the front seat so he could sit up at full height and Roddy rubbed his eyes in disbelief as he took in the scene before him. There, frolicking in the shallows of the river, dunking its head and rolling in the flow of water, was a brown bear. It was too small to be a grizzly and, as Roddy watched longer, he could make out distinct, almost human-like, characteristics that marked the beast as something not entirely of nature’s doing.

Its forelegs were almost too long, creating a signature hunch in its back and, when it stood on its hind legs, the position looked somehow more natural than the four-legged ramble it had been performing. This was Barry’s full Jägerbar form.

Roddy had caught glimpses of Barry’s woge before – in the maroon flash of his eyes, the thickening of hair on his face, the broadening of features and the elongation of teeth – but this was something else altogether. His breath caught in his throat and Roddy wondered briefly just how many others ever saw this side of a Jägerbar and lived to tell the tale. There was an animalistic innocence to Barry’s movements as he dropped back onto all fours and shook the water from his thick, brown pelt with a powerful shudder.

He felt suddenly uncomfortably voyeuristic as he watched the Jägerbar from the shadows of their stolen truck so he pulled on his shoes and hopped out of the car. He strolled past the empty picnic table and allowed himself to enjoy the gradually warming morning and clean air freshly washed from last night’s rain. He stopped a few steps away from the riverbank and fondly observed the Jägerbar up close.

Weakened yet still substantial muscles rippled under brown fur much darker than the hair of its human host. Large maroon eyes returned the Reinigen’s probing look and a chuff of excitement filled the air between them. They stood like that for a moment before a mischievous gleam entered the Jägerbar’s eyes. Roddy, too busy picking out all the nuances of the Jägerbar’s full woge, failed to take note of this and thus was caught off guard as the other Wesen gave a mighty shake sending water flying in every direction.

Roddy swore in surprise under the onslaught only to find the Jägerbar smiling (could bears even smile?) at him in amusement. This close Roddy could see his initial assessment of Barry’s woge as small was a bit of understatement seeing how, even on all fours, he managed to stand at a height with the other. “So I kissed you last night and you’re still a jerk this morning? I see how it is.”

Barry huffed at Roddy’s statement and leaned forward brushing still wet fur against the Reinigen’s face as he snuffled against his neck.

“Gross. You’re getting bear snot and water all over me.”

“You really know how to set the mood don’t you?”

Between one moment and the next, the wet fur against Roddy’s cheek was replaced by damp skin and two strong arms came to wrap around his upper body. The Reinigen immediately went boneless in the other’s embrace.

“I’m not the one who was gone this morning.”

“Sorry about that,” Barry apologized and pulled back enough to take in Roddy’s expression as he ran large hands up and down the goose bumps covering the Reinigen’s arms. “I thought you might want something to eat when you woke up.”

“How does that—oh my god you were trying to fish?”

The color that flooded Barry’s face and the guilty downward shift of his eyes was all the answer Roddy needed.

“You were weren’t you?” Taking pity on his companion as what could only be described as a pout threatened his earlier enthusiasm Roddy gently cupped his face with his hands, successfully recapturing the Jägerbar’s attention. With a nervous yet earnest smile, Roddy thanked him before planting an unsure kiss on the other’s cheek. “While I appreciate the thought I’d rather eat sooner than later.” Roddy felt unduly embarrassed by his gesture of affection but the stunned yet undeniably pleased expression on Barry’s face made whatever discomfort he felt worth it.

A large hand brushed some of the sleep-mussed hair from around Roddy’s ear and the soft, open affection on Barry’s face sent the Reinigen’s heart beating much too fast to be healthy. “You’re probably right about that.”

The peculiar mixture of embarrassed joy swirling in Roddy’s gut made him entirely unsure whether or not to remain where he was, half enveloped in Barry’s embrace or to start them on their journey back to Portland. Luckily the Reinigen was spared that agonizing decision as Barry promptly pulled him into a rough hug, and nuzzled fiercely at the join between his neck and shoulder before setting him down with a satisfied sound. “I saw a place when we were driving in last night that didn’t look too bad.”

“I’ll just have to trust your stomach on this one,” Roddy replied and patted the Jägerbar's before he pulled back. “Come on. We have an early start but we still need to make it back by a decent time.”

With that being said Roddy led them back to the still open car and tossed a clean t-shirt at Barry. The Jägerbar had stripped off the other one before his little excursion in the river but clean clothes were always welcome, especially since they’d be trapped together in a small car for the majority of the day. Much as he tried to give Barry his privacy, Roddy couldn’t help but to glance over when the Jägerbar pulled on the dark brown garment with an irritated huff. While the older boy was taller and broader than Roddy, the Reinigen was surprised to see he wasn’t as definitively muscled as he would have predicted as there was an unexpected softness to his middle. When Barry gave a cursory tug to the hem of his shirt however, Roddy noted that his arms were every bit as thick and solid as they felt wrapped around him at night. Atop all this the bandages Roddy had carefully applied to him in the motel stood out in stark contrast to his natural coloring.

Roddy startled as he realized he was blatantly eying up the other now that he’d (finally) given himself to linger on what he (may be) was feeling towards the other and coughed awkwardly as Barry, having no doubt noticed Roddy’s actions, smiled roguishly at him over the still reclined seat. The Reinigen was surprised when no lascivious or teasing comment followed the expression and the Jägerbar instead set about returning the bench seat to its upright position.

Turning his back to the other, Roddy quickly stripped off and exchanged the shirt he’d been sleeping in for one of the black shirts Barry had teased him about only a few days before. This was going to be a long trip.

* * *

As Barry predicted, the food at the diner was delicious and the variety of sweet treats in the bakery display case made the Jägerbar’s mouth water as he spotted a fresh baked blueberry pie. Though they only had just enough time to gratefully scarf down their ordered food (one vegetarian omelet and a stack of pancakes that made Roddy’s teeth ache from looking at the sheer amount of whipped cream, sprinkled sugar and syrup practically dripping off the top), Barry still managed to grab a slice for the road. He’d rolled his eyes at Roddy’s exaggerated horror as he gathered the to go box. There was something softer and more open about the Reinigen since their kiss the previous night and while Roddy’s prickly nature and volatile reactions alternately confused, amused and frustrated Barry to no end there was something infinitely more intimate about the shy looks and half formed smiles he’d kept directing at Barry over breakfast.

Grinning broadly – damn he just couldn’t stop smiling could he? – Barry threw his arm over Roddy’s shoulder and pulled him in for a quick kiss before releasing him. And that was another thing. Rather than anger – as had been the default until now – Roddy just seemed downright flustered by Barry’s easy, open affection and it sent a thrill through the Jägerbar to see just how much his presence could affect the Reinigen in such an innocently happy sort of way.

It eased something behind Barry’s ribs and the puffs of scent (a hint of anxiety, a whole lot of happiness, excitement and – if Barry was being wishful – just a hint of lust) coming off the Reinigen now were infinitely more pleasing to his Jägerbar instincts than what had lingered in the air between them before. He resisted the urge to swoop in and inhale more of that satisfying scent up close as Roddy stuffed his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and grumbled something under his breath.

“What was that?” Barry asked, as they settled into the car.

“Nothing,” Roddy quickly lied.

Wanting to tease the Reinigen but not willing to push him over the edge into actual irritation Barry let it drop and changed the subject.

“Mhm. Hey, how can you still be wearing your hoodie? It’s like, sixty something degrees out.”

“You mean it’s _only_ sixty something degrees out. Not all of us put off heat like a furnace,” the last part came out more affectionate than Roddy probably intended and Barry watched as the Reinigen settled into his seat, upright for once, and crossed his arms defensively.

“Are you kidding me?” Barry laughed as they started on their way. “It’s like hugging a hot water bottle at night.”

“Liar,” Roddy snorted as he slumped back into a slouch, “I’m always freezing. Especially at night.”

“What? You sleep with like ten blankets on don’t you.”

“…”

“Roddy?”

“Five. Not ten.”

“How do you not get heatstroke every night?”

“I told you I get cold.”

“I just can’t believe you actually burrow is all.”

“Oh my god can you please shut up?”

“I know one way you could shut me up.”

“I am not kissing you while you are driving.”

“Fine. Guess I’ll just keeping asking you personal questions until our next rest stop.”

“If you shut up now I’ll make out with you at the next stop.”

“….Promise?”

“…Yeah, promise or whatever.”

“…”

“…”

“You know, if you wanted to make out with me we could have done it in the parking lot or – ”

“Talking or make outs. Take your pick.”

“…”

“I thought so.”

* * *

They lasted an hour in near-silence, Barry eventually going back to fiddling with the radio as they left Parma behind and eventually crossed back into Oregon. The Jägerbar had settled on a station that played seemingly nothing but classical music with a pointed glance in Roddy’s direction. While the Reinigen appreciated the gesture, his uncertain future at Von Hamelin made the usually comforting music sound like something mocking or spiteful and he’d turned the dial to the first clear channel. They wound up listening to a country music station for the next half hour of their drive. Whatever high the Jägerbar had been riding since last night finally seemed to dissipate and he was back to shooting concerned glances at Roddy and obviously resisting the urge to reach out and make physical contact.

While what happened last night (and this morning) might have seemed like a dream come true to the Jägerbar, it left a hollow feeling in Roddy’s gut once the initial butterflies and general sense of giddiness – which he was firmly blaming on his Reinigen instincts thank you very much – wore off. _This is temporary. This is temporary. This is temporary._ Roddy reminded himself of this every time Barry sent one of those soft yet radiant smiles his way. He repeated this mantra with every skip of his heart or twitch of his suddenly clammy hands.

They had already crossed back into Oregon. They would soon arrive in Portland. Eventually this would all seem like a dream—the barn, the motel, the open road...and Barry too. Sighing, Roddy unconsciously found himself reaching out for the hand Barry had been clenching and unclenching on the seat between them. The Jägerbar’ eyes sparked briefly in surprise as he glanced down at the hand now gently grasping his own but he wisely did not comment.

* * *

As they passed the exit sign for somewhere called Baker City, OR the light returned to Barry’s eyes and he glanced over at Roddy with an inquisitive expression on his face.

“Go ahead,” Roddy murmured tiredly, squeezing Barry’s hand for emphasis.

“I’ve uh, I recognize this place. There’s a trail near here I once walked with my parents.”

Roddy raised his eyebrow in a silent prompt for the Jägerbar to continue.

“Well, we’ve been driving for a while and it’d be a nice place to pull over and stretch our legs, y’know.”

“That’s fine,” Roddy sighed, closing his eyes and leaning his head on the seat behind him. This was not how he was supposed to be spending his last however many hours with Barry. He was supposed to be affectionate and kind and try to pry as many of those secret smiles from the Jägerbar as possible so he could dream about them later, even after they stopped causing his stomach to turn and his face to flush with embarrassed affection. Still, if Barry wanted to walk around in the woods for a while then the Reinigen could at least give him this much.

Trusting Barry’s memory, the directions of a friendly stranger and a map Barry picked up at the gas station where they met aforementioned stranger, they found themselves driving past a sign that read Powder River Recreation Area towards a waiting parking lot. Barry practically bounced out of his seat with excitement as he smiled towards Roddy and released his hand. They shouldn’t be doing this. They were going to end up wasting time. They needed to get back to Portland. Each token protest that floated into Roddy’s mind dissolved in the face of that warm look and the warmth that lingered from Barry’s touch.

Hopping out of the truck and closing the door behind him, Roddy used his hand to shield his eyes from the afternoon light as he glanced at the few other cars around them. While Barry seemed enthusiastic about finding this trail it seemed most others had passed it in favor of continuing toward the lake Roddy had spotted on one of their recently acquired maps. The trail would be quiet, scenic…private. Feeling much too hot all of a sudden, Roddy shrugged out of his hoodie and threw it the car in an attempt to cover up his flustered state. _I know one way you could shut me up._

An inhuman chirp left Roddy’s throat as something descended on his head and it took him a moment to realize that a hat had been placed over his hair, shielding his eyes from the harsh afternoon sun.

“Barry,” he hissed in alarm as the Jägerbar trailed a hand gently over his tensed back.

“Sorry we don’t have any sunscreen but at least this way your face won’t get burned.” Roddy turned to blink owlishly at his companion as Barry stared down at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” Roddy shook his head, aware that his non-answer had abruptly changed the atmosphere between them. “Let’s get going.”

“Yeah,” Barry sighed before urging them both onward. He was unusually quiet but, then again, maybe he was just respecting Roddy and his preference for peace over conversation—but that’s not how Roddy wanted to spend these last hours together.

“You said you’d been here before?” A simple question to get some conversation started.

“Uh yeah,” Barry answered in a brief moment of confusion. “It was park of the Jackson Hole trip. I didn’t like being stuck in the car and I was being a bit of a brat,” Roddy snorted but otherwise made no comment, “My mom had just about enough of me and when we stopped for lunch she asked around if there were any trailheads nearby since she knew we were closed to a national park. A local gave us directions and then we were here.”

“I haven’t gone hiking before,” Roddy confessed, turning to the trees towering over them. He’d always felt more at ease around stone and concrete than the wild forests only a short drive away.

“My parents always took me hiking. Had to find some way to channel my energy when it wasn’t lacrosse season.”

“I can see you being a hyper kid.”

Barry looked uncomfortable for a moment as he rubbed the back of his neck where sweat from the midday heat was beginning to gather. “Less hyper and more…angry I guess.”

Roddy looked up to acknowledge the Jägerbar’s words. They’d come too far together to feel embarrassed about these things now. “I just,” Barry groaned, passing his hand over his face, “I dunno…”

“I get it,” Roddy said softly, bumping his arm into Barry’s to distract him. “Sometimes I think every Wesen is angry about something deep down.” Like Monroe with the Bauerschwein or Rosalee and her brother’s death or Nick and his whole…Grimm thing….if he even counted as Wesen anyway.

“What are you angry about?” The question was soft and gentle and didn’t raise Roddy’s hackles like he thought it would.

“School. Sara. My dad. My mom. Myself. Everything I guess.”

Barry laid a gentle hand on Roddy’s shoulder and abruptly steered him off the paved trail and deeper into the trees. Roddy didn’t fight or question – he trusted Barry far too much for that – but it didn’t stop the prickle of concern he felt at the Jägerbar’s uncharacteristic silence. They reached a natural clearing after a few minutes of blundering about, the Jägerbar partially woged so he could scent the air and determine which direction to go. Eventually the came to a small, natural clearing well away from the main path and secluded from potentially prying eyes. Roddy hadn’t paid much mind to the plastic bag swinging from Barry’s hand when they left the parking lot but now he watched as Barry pulled out his brown hoodie and laid it out on the ground in lieu of an actual picnic blanket. Shaking his head to dispel the lingering mood from their earlier, gloomy conversation he joined Barry where he sat at the edge of the hoodie.

“Sorry we don’t have any real food. I left the pie in the car,” Barry apologized as he handed Roddy a full bottle of water and the last bag of trail mix. Roddy had been less than enthusiastic about the pie at the diner so it had seemed like a safe assumption to make.

“It’s fine. I’m not really a fan of blueberries anyway.”

Barry made a noise of exaggerated hurt even as Roddy smirked at him around a mouthful of trail mix. “I don’t know what blueberries ever did to you but that is straight blasphemy.”

“They’re too tart,” Roddy stuck his tongue out in a “blergh” motion for emphasis. “Strawberries are way better.”

“They’re not even real berries,” Barry grumbled reaching to grab a handful of mix for himself.

“So you’re telling me you don’t like strawberries?”

“I don’t _dislike_ them but they’re definitely not better than blueberries.”

Roddy made a “mhm” noise as he took a drink of water and eyed the other boy, a mischievous glint in his eyes. _I know one way you could shut me up._

“And if you were eating those blueberries now I wouldn’t be doing this.”

“What do you – oh.”

The Jägerbar looked pleasantly dumbfounded as Roddy scooted closer on his knees, facing the other boy rather than side by side now. “Do you still want to?” Roddy teased, his posture relaxed and confident despite the fluttering in his gut.

“Hell yes,” Barry grinned, spreading his knees where he was sitting so Roddy could move the little bit forward and connect their lips.

Roddy couldn’t suppress the smile that spread over his face even if he wanted to as they pulled apart. Start slow. Keep it gentle. He wasn’t sure how feasible that really was with Barry looking at him like that. It wasn’t the same as the first time. Somehow, at some point, their anxiety had eased and there was less nervousness but infinitely more of that heady tension that had defined their first foray into physical intimacy. Unable to maintain the Jägerbar’s gaze for long, Roddy closed his eyes in a move of self-preservation as he rested his arms on broad shoulders and leaned in for another lingering kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added one more chapter to wrap things up with. Being edited some time today or tomorrow and posted immediately after.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your patience, comments, kudos and just overall support it really means the world to me.

 

_It wasn’t the same as the first time. Somehow, at some point, their anxiety had eased and there was less nervousness but infinitely more of that heady tension that had defined their first foray into physical intimacy. Unable to maintain the Jägerbar’s gaze for long, Roddy closed his eyes in a move of self-preservation as he rested his arms on broad shoulders and leaned in for another lingering kiss._

 

Barry was ninety-nine percent sure he was dreaming this. At some point he’d fainted or slipped and hit his head— _something_. There was no other explanation for the Reinigen in his grasp, the arms thrown over his shoulders, the closed eyes and the gentle sighs into every brief parting of their lips. Last time (the first time) Barry had been too overwhelmed by the gravity of the situation to properly observe and appreciate his partner but he was desperately making up for lost time now.

Roddy’s skin was noticeably pale providing a pleasant contrast to his thick, dark hair and blue eyes (those brilliant icy blue eyes), now hidden way behind closed lids. His features were defined in a distinctly masculine sort of way and only made him that much more painfully gorgeous to the Jägerbar he was taking apart with every brush of contact between them. The Reinigen may have been marginally slighter in build but he was by no means light and the solid weight and heat of his body in Barry’s lap was not enough to distract the Jägerbar from the barely banked fire coursing through him. Barry trembled deliciously as Roddy let out a sound much closer to a soft moan than a sigh when they broke apart for air. Long lashes fluttered as the Reinigen’s eyes opened and a soft, sultry smile curved his reddened mouth.

“Holy shit,” Barry collapsed onto his back, unable to support himself any longer in the wake of that wicked smile.

“Are you okay?” Roddy sounded positively breathless conjuring more heat in the Jägerbar’s veins.

“You’re going to have to give me a minute here if you want to keep things slow,” Barry chuckled as he took calming breaths.

Roddy seemed to consider this for a moment before he started squirming in Barry’s lap, earning a barely stifled noise of frustration from the Jägerbar beneath him. A gentle hand brushed over the top of one jean clad thigh and Barry outright growled in warning this time. Roddy hummed thoughtfully in acknowledgment of the sound before removing himself from between Barry’s thighs. _Oh thank goodness._ He wasn’t sure what the Reinigen had been planning but it couldn’t have been good for Barry’s sanity (or restraint or – a voice in the back of his head whispered – whatever relationship they decided to salvage from all of this after they returned home).

“Stop being so smug.” Barry grunted and rolled over onto his side to look at Roddy properly.

The Reinigen’s eyes were barely open, a dazed sort of peaceful look softening him so he appeared ready to melt into the ground at any given moment. It was the same expression as when Barry had returned to their motel room after breakfast to find him napping in the sun, only this time was infinitely better with the knowledge that he put that blissful look on the Reinigen’s face directly.

“M’not smug,” Roddy mumbled despite the self-satisfied edge to his expression. Barry briefly wondered if he’d wear that same look after—yeah no, not going there, he was supposed to be cooling down not daydreaming about more. “You’re just not a _completely_ terrible kisser.”

“So you think there’s room for improvement?” Barry played along as he tugged at the brim of the Reinigen’s borrowed hat playfully. This was the Roddy he’d been trying to bring out since this morning.

“Absolutely. You were too spaced out, you didn’t put your hands anywhere and you were shaking like a leaf the whole time.”

“Can you really blame me?” Barry opted to compliment his companion rather than defend his pride—it’s not like Roddy was wrong in his assessment. “Besides, it’s not like I have as much experience as somebody apparently does.”

“And how much would that be? I can’t be that much more experienced than you.” Roddy rolled on the sweatshirt now bunched underneath him so he too was facing the other.

"How about none.” The confession sat heavily between them and the Reinigen’s eyes widened, his hand freezing where it had been creeping towards the Jägerbar.

“So last night—that was—”

“My first kiss. Yeah.” Barry burned with embarrassment even as he reached out to carefully guide Roddy’s hand to his chest, hoping the other would feel the truth of that statement in the rapid beating of Barry’s heart.

“It’s not like—why haven’t you—and with me—” Barry cut him off before Roddy could work himself up any further.

“I don’t really know,” Barry tried to act casual as he moved Roddy’s hand to his face next, feeling the cool touch of a dry palm against his cheek. “I was too focused on other things,” _I was always told that I was better than the others_ , “and I never really thought much about dating,” _I couldn’t disappoint them by making the wrong choice_ , “and anyone I might have considered, my Jägerbar side didn’t really care about them like I wanted it to.” _Until I met you_.

Roddy bit his lip even as his thumb began to sweep in gentle, clockwise circles against Barry’s face now cradled in his hand.

“Does that bother you?”

“It doesn’t,” Roddy answered truthfully. “I’m glad you told me. I wouldn’t want to take any more from you than you’re ready for.”

Barry’s brow furrowed at that, unable to explain how happy Roddy’s touch made him. How anything that had or would happen between them, Roddy wasn’t taking anything. Everything he had Barry would give to the Reinigen freely.

* * *

After lingering in the clearing for a few minutes more, Barry eventually pulled them both to their feet and led them back out towards the parking lot. On their lazy stroll back to the car, Barry couldn’t help brushing his hands over Roddy’s exposed skin whenever he was within reach and the Reinigen didn’t seem to mind for his part, purposely bumping into the Jägerbar as well. Their combined scent sat thickly, comfortably on their skin and Roddy had to actively fight down the urge to brux as his more Wesen instincts insisted that he broadcast his happiness to his companion in order to receive more of those light, affectionate touches. Between the sunlight, the food and their lazy make out session, Roddy felt weightless and only the slight, nagging guilt about stealing Barry’s first kiss was enough to keep his feet on the ground.

For Barry’s part, the sudden resignation in Roddy’s face at his confession of inexperience worried him and the gears in his head were turning overtime. Roddy had said it didn’t bother him but the Reinigen rarely voiced his genuine feelings until he was forced into a proverbial corner, unable to lie outright yet equally unable to voice his true thoughts and feelings. Though over the course of their journey the Reinigen had been (when pressed) more than forthcoming about a plethora of personal information and had relied on Barry for emotional support, he wasn’t sure how much longer that would last. The closer they got to Portland, the more their hours left together wound down, the more shut off and melancholy he seemed to become. It confused Barry and, now that he had time to really think about it alongside the information he’d already pried from the Reinigen, he wasn’t sure if they were truly on the same page about what might happen once they returned home.

Just as that foreboding thought entered his mind, then Roddy swayed against him and Barry looked down to see a serene smile curving those slightly swollen lips and all the doubts flew from his head.

“Do you want to get lunch in town before we get back on our route?” Barry asked as he reached out and laced his fingers with Roddy’s. A low chittering sound escaped the Reinigen in lieu of an answer and Barry felt a swell of affection threaten to choke him. “Ancestors help me, you’re amazing.”

“What?” Roddy looked up at that, a childishly confused expression replacing his formerly dazed one.

“Do you want to grab something for lunch before we leave?”

“Yeah. Food sounds good.”

That far-off look resurfaced in those glacial eyes and Barry jiggled their interlocked hands giddily. Whatever concerns he had, they could wait until they were safely back in Portland.

* * *

They ended up stopping for lunch at the Lone Pine Café, a hidden gem along their road and by the time they stuffed themselves back in the car, Roddy was in the perfect mood for a long, refreshing nap. Barry hadn’t the heart to wake him when he looked so at ease and what was supposed to be a quick nap turned into two and a quarter hours of uninterrupted sleep. The Reinigen had only awoken when Barry had stopped once more for gas and water and the Jägerbar was greeted by Roddy’s grumbled protests that his dozing off wasn’t fair to Barry who’d been getting just as much (or as little) sleep as Roddy and wouldn’t get the opportunity to properly rest until they reached Portland. That argument had abruptly ended when the Jägerbar had declared more kissing at their next rest stop would be more than adequate compensation.

“You can’t just ask to make out every time you know.”

“I can and I will. Especially if it makes you all loopy and mushy like before.”

“I was not—”

“You were making that Reinigen chirping noise again.”

“…I was?”

“As soon as I held your hand.”

“Yeah, well, you swooned when I kissed you.”

“I didn’t swoon,” Barry protested good naturedly, “Just had to pump the breaks a little is all.”

Roddy appeared to consider that statement as a heavy blush flooded his cheeks. Looking away nervously and scratching his cheek in uncertainty he muttered something inaudible under his breath.

When Barry asked him to repeat himself Roddy merely shook his head and cranked his window open a crack so the howl of the wind as they whipped down the highway drowned out the Jägerbar’s playful complaints. Considering what he now knew regarding Barry’s romantic past – as in there was no romantic past – he felt distinctly awkward throwing out the suggestive comment that had been poised at the tip of his tongue. _Maybe next time you don’t have to_. But that felt too selfish now. After that first kiss, Roddy had been determined to extract every bit of intimacy and physical exchange possible but now that seemed like a cruel joke to play. Who was he to greedily demand all the Jägerbar’s firsts in exchange for the illusion of a romance that had no hope of lasting more than a few hours after they passed into Portland.

A squeak of alarm escaped him as Barry prodded his side, holding out his right hand for the Reinigen to hold. Unable to resist the lure of the Jägerbar’s warm smile he accepted despite the yawning pit in his stomach. He dozed off again like that, with the low hum of an unfamiliar radio station in his ears, the drowsy sweep of Barry’s thumb over his knuckles and the image of the Jägerbar in the driver’s seat tucked behind his eyelids.

* * *

Barry woke him for the last time in the parking lot outside a chain restaurant, the late afternoon sky flaring with one last burst of light before the more muted colors of sunset took hold.

“Why are we stopping?” According to the original instructions Roddy had printed what now seemed like ages ago at that motel in Jackson Hole, they were a little less than an hour from their destination.

“Thought you might be hungry when you woke up,” Barry answered, shrugging the seatbelt off his shoulder with one arm while turning the keys in the ignition with the other. Roddy blinked at him through a combination of drowsiness and confusion. They both knew that Monroe would be less than reluctant to feed them upon their return—in fact Roddy would be surprised if (after a full inspection from Rosalee) the Blutbad let him retreat to bed with no less than three helpings of whatever vegetarian dishes he had stress cooked while waiting for them to arrive.

“Barry…”

“Actually,” Barry confessed, a stubborn set to his face despite the red blossoming high on his cheeks, “I thought we could have one last meal…alone, y’know?”

Roddy was momentarily stunned at the Jägerbar’s thoughtful gesture—and unsettled somewhere past the swell of affection filling his chest. This was the first hint Barry had given that Roddy’s suspicions weren’t entirely unfounded…that tonight could in fact be the last time they would dine together. “Yeah,” Roddy fought past the lump of emotion threatening to choke him in favor of indulging the Jägerbar’s sentiment one last time. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

They were seated fairly quickly in a booth against the windows so they had a clear view of the gradually changing sky overhead as the setting dyed the clouds in a mess of gold and muted corals. Much as they had at every previous destination, Roddy stuck to the vegetarian options while Barry couldn’t help himself in ordering a salmon oriented dish. A mournful silence cast a pall over their final meal despite Barry’s best attempts to break up the melancholy perched on Roddy’s shoulders. He teased the Reinigen good-naturedly and Roddy, predictably, teased back or otherwise steered the conversation towards safer waters.

The Reinigen pretended not to notice the frustration underlying each of Barry’s seemingly light-hearted attempts at conversation and rebuffed his attempts at joviality. Only when it seemed that their meal was destined to be swallowed by the dread of their impending separation – temporary in Barry’s mind and permanent as death to his closed-off companion – did Roddy finally attempt to bridge the yawning chasm that had managed to open between them. Nudging the Jägerbar’s foot under the table with one of his own to get his attention, Roddy simultaneously flagged down the waitress and ordered a large slice of Strawberry Rhubarb Delight, a playful glint in his eye.

Still deterred by the Reinigen’s earlier sullen attitude, yet determined to end their final meal on a high note, Barry allowed a knowing smile to dominate his face as he hooked Roddy’s ankle with his own.

“Are you nervous?”

“There’s no reason to be—”

“Are you though?”

“…Yeah, I guess.”

Barry reached across the table to push his fingertips questioningly against the exposed pulse point on the Reinigen’s wrist. Roddy gave him a disbelieving look and nodded his head at one of the other patrons eying them curiously from the other end of the room. Interpreting this gesture for what it was, Barry’s hand pulled back a bit, resting so he would only graze the other’s fingertips instead.

“You don’t have to be y’know,” Barry spoke softly so as not to be heard over the faint din of the modest dinner crowd around them. “We’re going back together.”

“I know…” _But now that we’re so close a part of me wishes we wouldn’t_. The closer the got the heavier his worries grew. Von Hamelin. His father. His music. And now there was Barry—Barry who looked at him like he held all the answers. Barry who pushed him to be more honest and open all while respecting his boundaries. Barry who sought to comfort him without even knowing what he was comforting him from. Barry who tried to protect him with smiles (those blinding, soft, comforting, secret smiles) and warm hands even as Roddy detected a tremor racing through them both.

A hundred and one questions lingered in Barry’s eyes yet the Jägerbar made no move to pursue that track further beyond a brief sigh of acceptance. Instead, he straightened in his seat as the waitress placed a heaping slice of pie between them. “Fine. But don’t think you can distract me with pie every time you don’t want to talk about something.”

Despite his words, Barry did let the subject drop and they gradually regained some of that flirtatious air which had evaded since they’d stopped in the forest. Eventually, when they decided they could afford to linger no longer without provoking Monroe’s wrath, they paid their check and walked back out into the dim post-sunset light. Barry walked a few steps behind Roddy, observing him as a sense of dread bubbled in his gut. Why had the Reinigen withdrawn again? What was that closed off thing he saw hidden in the other’s eyes as he’d reached across the table for him? The Jägerbar had never been one to sit and meditate on problems nor sit and wait for the solution to come to him and he sure as hell wasn’t about to start now.

“Roddy,” the foreign note in the older teen’s voice caused Roddy to stop short, a sudden tension causing him to stuff his hands in his pockets as he turned to face his companion.

“What’s up?”

They were next to the passenger side door of the car now, shielding them from view of those inside the restaurant. Barry reached out shyly to tug at the hem of Roddy’s hoodie, an unsure expression crossing his face. “I just…I don’t want to push – not when we don’t have much time left – but, I guess…I just…” The Jägerbar groaned, running his hand through his hair and exhaling once in frustration, “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Roddy smiled softly at him, the gesture causing something to lurch uncomfortably behind Barry’s ribs as he took in that sad, broken mockery of affection. “I’m fine,” Roddy lied. “Just want to make it back on time.”

Barry’s brow furrowed in a mixture of concern and agitation but he clenched his jaw and nodded once in a show of acceptance at the Reinigen’s non-answer. It’s okay. Roddy would tell him what was wrong eventually—maybe after they’d had time to rest at home and properly process everything they’d been through. Maybe they’d be able to process it together.

“Hey,” Roddy’s near whisper broke through the other’s temporary haze and Barry was startled to find the Reinigen’s hands cradling his face so he was leaning towards the other. A ghost of a kiss lingered over his lips and Barry surged forward, one large hand engulfing the back of the Reinigen’s neck and pulling him into even deeper embrace. Roddy gasped, his grip shifted and his nails scratched behind the Jägerbar’s ears, pulling a deep groan of the Reinigen’s name from him in turn.

“Barry.” Had his name ever sounded better coming from someone’s mouth? “Barry. Wait.” The Jägerbar froze, eyes snapping open and hands immediately withdrawing from their position on the other’s body.

“What’s wrong?”

Roddy coughed awkwardly and his eyes darted to the side, a silent signal for Barry to follow his line of sight. Obediently, Barry straightened up, the hand that hadn’t been all over Roddy flattened against the side of the truck, corralling him with his greater weight. Across the parking lot, an older couple was watching them as they made their way to the restaurant. A blush instantly rose to Barry’s cheeks and the Reinigen below him couldn’t help but chuckle at the older boy’s embarrassment.

“This your first time getting caught in public?” Roddy teased.

“You know it is,” Barry grumbled as he leaned back to scratch at his neck and rolled his shoulders.

A beat of silence.

“We should probably get going,” Roddy suggested, sliding out from Barry’s hold.

“Yeah. Yeah we should.”

* * *

When they finally reached Portland, Roddy had expected to feel a sense of relief or excitement—anything really. Instead a strange sort of numbness had burrowed into his chest since that kiss in the parking lot and spread throughout his nervous system as they drew closer to their final destination. They were running out of time. He was running out of time. Did he want to stay with Barry when they got back? Would it be easier to cut off ties altogether? These questions only added to the anxiety that had been building with each new worry that crept into his mind. After they’d crossed city lines, he’d scooted closer to Barry and latched onto his free hand like his life depended on it.

Eventually, he had to break his terrified silence and give the Jägerbar directions as their surroundings grew less grey and more trees lined the sidewalks.

418\. The letters on Monroe’s mailbox glared accusingly at them in the light of the street lamps and the panic in Roddy’s chest made an attempt to climb up his throat. The truck lurched into place as Barry shifted them into park.

“Barry wait.”

The Jägerbar stared down at him in concern as Roddy’s knuckles went white where they gripped his arm.

“Roddy, what’s wrong?”

One of those large, perfect, comforting hands reached up to cup his face and Roddy wanted nothing more than to turn into that embrace and stay there forever.

“Roddy?”

“I just need a minute,” wide blue eyes flickered over to the shadows now congregating in Monroe’s front window. “Please. Just give us a minute.”

“Okay,” Barry murmured, pressing his lips against Roddy’s forehead. “Take as much time as you need.”

They sat in tremulous silence, the shaking of Roddy’s breath growing increasingly loud in the stillness. Neither of them mentioned the wetness seeping into Barry’s sleeve.

“Would it,” Barry paused and licked his lips, “would it help if I scented you?”

Roddy nodded, still unable to form words as the weight of his emotions crushed the words from his mouth. A chuff from the Jägerbar signaled his woge as he rubbed his furred cheeks against Roddy’s temples and neck. Instantly, the tears abated and their satisfied sighs mingled in the quiet night.

“Are you ready?” Barry asked, pulling back to see as he used the hand still cradling Roddy’s cheek to wipe the tears from the corners of his eyes.

Taking one last breath to steel himself, allowing the wash of their combined scents to relieve the worst of his nerves, Roddy met that stormy gaze head on one more time.

“Together?”

“Together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Broxing for anyone who wants to look it up is like the rat version of purring and is freaking adorable to hear.
> 
> On another note, you all can probably tell I'm not great about deadlines and/or finding time to write. I've got a lot going on in my life including two jobs and school among other things so, yeah. Not great at putting my writing first. That being said, I appreciate all your unending patience and enthusiasm as it's what gets me to actually sit down and write not one but two stories. If anyone would be interested in beta'ing for me to help me get out stories on a more regular basis and/or just get sneak peaks into what's coming next I would greatly appreciate it. Go ahead and message me through my old Tumblr (no longer in use but I still get emails from it) at http://queen-of-the-dingos.tumblr.com.
> 
> And to end it on that note, once again thank you so much for your kudos, comments and patronage!


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